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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Bimigan's Ark

And God said, "Gather your beers two by two and get your sorry asses to Bim's Ark while I drown you drunken bastards with 3 days of rain!" And so it was written, and so it was done. Like cows heading to the barn, the BC4M braved wind and treacherous flooding, gathered the womenfolk, loaded our beer into buckets, and headed to Bim's. 3 days of flood waters had everybody pissed off and ready to throw down. Besides, with the bad weather, our 1950's era Direct TV had lost it's signal and we were starved for entertainment. And what better way for a bunch of craft brew alcoholics to entertain themselves (besides a circle jerk of course) than to drink good beer. Bim had the house well prepared for the flood, so it was the logical place to meet. Ok, enough of the gratuitous links, let's rate some beers! As we often like to do, we opened the night with "The RFG of IPA's", a Pliny the Elder. Our stock is running low, but until we run out, we intend to savor every one of these bitches! Next up was St. Georges Brewing Co.'s Octoberfest (5%). This beer had the odd smell that we've come to expect from this brewery, and the odd taste to match, but still rated a good. Abita Amber Beer (5%) tasted like weak Louisiana swamp water and rated a sucks. Boulder Beer Pass Time Ale (5%) was a sweet, smooth session beer, and the whole group agreed it was good. Next up was some weird Italian beer called Nuova Mattina (5.8%). This shit is brewed with ginger, coriander, green pepper and chamomile. WTF??? Were they using up all the crap spices from the spice cabinet? Not good fellas. Who brews with chamomile? The same dickwads that brought us theFiat, that's who. Breckenridge Lucky U IPA (6.2%) was a so/so, making all of us feel less than lucky for having tasted it. Finally it was time for a real beer, as we cracked open the Lost Abbey Serpents Stout (11%). This shit was pure deliciousness! Chocolaty smooth with just the right amount of alcohol heat. By the time we opened the next beer, the skys had opened up again, J. Wilder arrived in his "water skeeter", and we retreated to the boathouse (sorry, more gratuitous links). Ballast Point's Victory at Sea Coffee Vanilla Imperial Porter (10%) reminded us of our own old sea daddy, Tank, and his incredulous stories of battling Barberry pirates and sea monsters. This beer had a nice vanilla flavor and was a really good. Great Divide followed with their Oak Aged Yeti Imperial Stout (9.5%). We love yeti's (see "Prince Mike") but this one was weak and was only a so/so. If we wanted to drink oak chips, we'd ferment the runoff off Fred's fire pit. Next up was a beer we drank at Fred's birthday, but were too stewed to record... Great Divide's 16th Anniversary Wood Aged Double IPA (10%). No one can really remember what we thought of it initially, but on this night it was a good. At this point Snake, in his typical over the top fashion, stood and screamed, "Way too much talking and not enough fucking drinking!" Shipyard produced two losers, their IPA (5%) which sucked, and their Shipyard Expert Handcrafted Ale (5%) which was only marginally better and rated a so/so. CHC homebrew is "handcrafted" too, which says nothing about quality, as every one of our beers tastes like pure ass. Green Flash supplied the Barleywine style ale (10.9%) which are liked by some members and feared by others. It was a mixed vote, and rated a good. The Bruery's Mischief (8.5%) was really good, although there were no comments. Widmer Brothers have produced a mixed bag of beers, but their Prickly Pear Braggot (10%) was a unanimous good. We were on a roll now, tearing through new beers like a bunch of fat kids in a candy store. Bell's Best Brown Ale (5.8%) featured a nice rendition of Woodsie the Owl on the label, and tasted cool too, rating a good. Blue Moon Harvest Moon (5.7%) (the Coors Light of craft brews) was a decent session beer and rated a good. Brooklyn Brewery Post Road Pumpkin Ale (5%) tasted like they used the month old neighborhood pumpkins that Bim used to litter the street with on Halloween as a delinquent child (he now confines his shenanigans to sexually molesting lawn ornaments). Saranac Pumpkin Ale (5.5%) was a little better, but still only a so/so. We closed the night with a Shipyard Pumpkinhead (4.5%) that Fred described as a cinnamon cookie in a bottle and rated a good. And just like that, the party was over. Time for the BC4M to strap on the speedos and swin home


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