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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


Johnny called an impromptu meeting of the Founding Father's, to sample some of the delicacies that he brought back from the Dogfish Head Brewery. First up was Aprihop (7%), an IPA brewed with apricots. This beer had a apricot smell, but the taste was all beer with a solid dose of hops. It was uniformly felt that this was an amazing IPA. We laughed, we cried, we held each other tight as we celebrated the first RFG of the night! However, like the Dogfish Head we have come to love, it was followed by Pangea (7%). This was billed as a malt beverage brewed with crystallized ginger. In a word, it SUCKED. These brewers have some crazy ideas. They next graced us with Wrath of Pecant (6.3%). This was a collaboration with the losers at Beer Advocate, who decided that putting bananas and other kinds of weird shit into beer is a good idea. They should have consulted the BC4M... while we personally can't seem to brew any decent beers, we have plenty of great ideas. This beer was described as banana bread meets firepit, with a heavy ash aftertaste. Despite all that, we were split between so/so and good. At this point the Dogfish Head beers were spent, and Fred brought out some goodies he picked up at Chip's in NC. First up was Rogue's Mogul Madness (6.25%). This beer had a soapy, Lifebuoy taste, which we think is due to their use of free range coastal water, whatever that means. It was a so/so. Les Deux Brasseurs (8.5%) was a loser. This beer tasted like a bowl of Lucky Charms and smelled like baby shit. That, and there was way too much writing on the bottle. We don't have that much time to read, and we don't read all that well anyway, so give us a break. They used a lot of 2 and 3 syllable words that we don't understand. If they spent as much time on their brewing as they did on decorating their bottles, they'd have a winner. Weeping Radish Kolsh Ale (4.9%) is brewed in our backyard, in Jarvisburg, NC. While some members thought it was a clean, non-descript brew, others thought it tasted like Shell 89 octane gasoline and smelled like Sex Panther cologne. Weeping Radish Carolla Gold Lager (5.0%) tasted real skunky, like a sun-kissed Corona. One member stated that he's rather drink a Corona left in the hot sun for for 3 weeks, than this crap. It sucked. Seit 1229 Granit Bock (7.2%) from Austria, was a watery version of our RFG Celebrator, and rated a So/So. And thus ended the unscheduled executive session of the founding fathers BC4M.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Cincinnati Reds Night

With a whole bunch of Cincy beers left, we needed another Cincinnati night. Johnny decided that a Reds night was in order. Members were to use their imagination in picking beers. We started the night with Sam Adams Irish Red (5.5%)... again! This was the third time we rated this beer, prompting one angry member to exclaim, "Who's keeping track of this bullshit!" That would be me.... Julius Echter's Hefe-weiss-dunkel (4.9%) was next. This is 10pm's favorite, and it rated a good. Next was Southern Tier's Big Red (9%), a hoppy, sweet red ale that was quite good and rated a good. Red Rocket Ale (6.8%) was next. We drank this one prior to our official beginning months ago, but didn't rate it. My earliest memory was giant floaties in this beer,as if the brewmaster had hurled into the tub of hot wort, but there was none of that this time. I can't tell if this helped or hurt this beer, as it was only a so/so this time. Then there was Williamsburg Ale Werks Red Marker Ale (5%). While we love the Ale Werks guys, this was not a good beer. There was no taste, only a foul odor with faint hints of kepone and James River plough mud, fouled with raw sewage and oily residue. One member thought it tasted like Tide detergent. It sucked! Green Flash Brewing Company's Hop Head Red Ale (6.4%) was next. We think it was hopped with Columbian Gold! Very hoppy brew that made Johnny suddenly very hungry! It rated a good. Next came Christian Moerlein Lager House Helles Lager (5.2%). I love CM, but they can do better. It tasted like wet cardboard in both taste and smell, rating a SUCKS. Souther Tier's Phin and Matt's Extraordinary Ale (5.6%) followed that, but was a real downer. It was a lifeless, ordinarily bland beer, with the last sip tasting like paint thinner... It SUCKED! Who the hell are Phin and Matt, and what did they put in this so-called beer??? North Coast Red Seal Ale (5.5%) followed. This was a non-offensive, light ale, with very little taste. However, after drinking the last 2 beers, it was a decent palate cleanser. Label was cool, but the group thought that a label with a picture of a bloody baby seal being viciously butchered by an eskimo would have really made this one rock. It rated a so/so. And then there was Red Stripe Lager (4.7%). "It's Beer!...barely". It was a so/so. RJ Rockers Patriot Ale (6.0%) (what does this have to do with red beers? Who knows) smelled OK, but tasted like cider, not beer. It SUCKED. Then it was back to Cincy with the Rivertown Brewing Company's Bock Beer.(good luck finding the abv for any beer from this brewery) It was sweet, light, and just plain good. However, it was not to last... Brooklyn's Pennant Ale 55 (5%), like the 1955 Dodgers, SUCKED. Rogue American Amber Ale (5.6%) rated only a so/so. Then back to Ohio, with Elliot Ness Amber Lager from Great Lakes (6.2%). This was a good beer, and rated such. That said, lose the environmental shit. This beer was brewed in Cleveland for God's sake, a city which boasts a river so polluted that it caught fire and burned for 3 days! Great Lakes Dortmunder Gold (5.8%) also rated a good, prompting one member to remark that it was "lighter and better that that other shit". Mt. Carmel Brewing Co's Nut Brown Ale (6%) rated a good, without comment, which is understandable as this was our 17th beer of the night. Rivertown Brewery followed with their Hefe-Weizen, a so/so non-descript wheat beer. Then came Rogue to save the day. Their Kells Irish Style Lager (5.0%) was a really nice beer, rating a good, a rarity on this night, but still no RFG's. Rivertown Oatmeal Stout was a so/so. It was felt that this one was over the top, with too much carbonation, too much coffee flavor, too bitter. We finished the night with a Great Lakes Brewery's Blackout Imperial Stout (9%). This was a really damn good stout. Almost an RFG but a solid good+. And like that, Cincinnati Reds night was over, and the Cincy beers nearly depleted.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Cincinnati Night

After a short road trip to my hometown, I had the pleasure of sneaking over the border to the Party Source in Bellview, KY. This place is a big box alcohol store where one can purchase whiskey, wine, and any one of hundreds of microbrews. Where else can a guy buy a full size keg of Rogue? It was quite the experience. I managed to bring back 33 different beers, of which 31 were midwestern brewed, the majority of those being brewed in Cincy. And with that, the beer club was called to order. We started the night strong, with a Mt. Carmel Brewing Company's Winter Ale (8%). This beer was called the cousin to Dogfish Head's Raison D'Etre. It quickly rated a good. Johnny commented that it was a good thing he was wearing sweat pants cause this beer gave him a chub! Great Lakes Brewing followed with a Burning River Pale Ale (6%). This too rated a good, with a decent, but not overwhelming hoppiness. Then came the Horse Piss. That's right, the beer is called Horse Piss (Bluegrass Brewing Co, 5.5%). This shit was just plain awful. In fact, one member noted that actual horse piss couldn't taste this bad. IT SUCKS! Hook and Ladder Brewing Co's Anniversary Ale (6.5%) was next. No better than the horse piss, this one tasted like it was brewed with the burnt flesh of a real fire victim. Christian Moerlein's OTR (Over the Rhine) Ale (6.0%) was next. I grew up on Moerlein, so I am biased, but the group liked it and it rated a good. The bottle states that it's a quaffable ale... not sure exactly what they're getting at, but we agreed that it was tasty. Bison Brewing Co's Organic IPA (6%) was next. As a whole, the group is skeptical of organic anything. We like our waterways thick with pollution and our meats full of antibiotics and growth hormones. Al Gore would get a propper ass-whoopin if he showed up at our meetings. That said, the beer rated a good. Could have been an RFG if they had added a little pesticide to their grains. Schoenling Little Kings (5.5%) was next. This is a cream ale from Cincy, but the Schoenling Brewery went out of business years ago. I have no idea who brews this now, but it rated only a so/so. Not a good beer to sip, but a great beer to guzzle. The first beer I ever got really hammered on, when I was 4 years old, and this is the one I fed dates when I wanted to score. Rivertown Brewing Co. produced the next 2 beers, a Helles Lager and a Dunkel. Both rated a good, which is pretty awesome for a start-up brewery. However, in case any of the Rivertown folks are reading this, and I know you are, please list your alcohol percentage. We want to know how pissed we're going to get. Mt Carmel struck again with the Quaff Brothers Tripel Rot (8.8%). This shit was horrible! The beer is aged in dessert wine casks, and was described as pissing on a lollipop then drinking it. It sucked. Goose Island graced us with a Mild Winter Ale (5.6%), a rye beer. This one tasted very similar to Virginia's own Legend Brown Ale, and it rated a good. Hook and Ladder's Backdraft Brown (4.5%) then rated a good. Not a real complex beer, but a nice drinking brew. Next was Great Lakes' Conway Irish Ale (6.5%). Named after some drunk Irish cop from Cleveland this is another environmental wacko beer. If your gonna brag about how organic you are, you'd better back it up with a damn good beer... and this isn't. Rated a so/so. Goose Island Honkers Ale (4.2%) was an English style bitter, and rated a good. Christian Moerlein followed with their Barbarossa Double dark lager (5%) and their Emancipator Dopplebock (6.5%). The Barbarossa rated a good, while the Emancipator was an RFG!!! We love the Dopple Bocks!!! Mt Carmel IPA (7%) was next. This hoppy beer was just right and rated a good. Great Lakes served up their Commodore Perry IPA (7.5%), which states on the bottle, "Don't give up the ship", which we thought was gaelic for "you're fucking gay". Despite that, the beer was good and rated such. Mt Carmel's Amber Ale (6%) was rated a good, although Wilder called it a so/so (like the beotch he is). Some flaming queer wrote that it was like a "blossomed tulip, waiting for plucking". When I read that I barfed. And last, but not least, we broke out the Rogue Double Dead Guy Ale (9%). A great red/orange bottle, and a very satisfying beer. It rated a good. And just like that, 20 beers down and the night was over. Next week, Cincy Reds night, with the rest of the Cincy beers plus reds or baseball inspired brews.