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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Ho Ho Ho ...Bitches




Friday night in the CHC. Bim put on his Billy Bob Thornton Santa suit and called a Flamingo with the hopes of getting all the neighborhood juggies to go for a lap ride. The girls and boys arrived as Santa Bim declared them naughty or nice, and the party commenced. We started the night with an Avery Dugana (8.5%). This IPA has a cool picture of an Indian porn star (dot not feather) on the bottle, as confirmed by the groups pornologist, J. Wilder. He confirmed that the chick's name is Bopatragohain Chaganti, and she's known as the Cock Tease of Calcutta. The beer, while not extrordinary, was a solid good. Next up was Bim's attempt at Dogfish Head's Billy Budd (14%), a combination of Indiam Brown, Palo Santo Maron, and 120min IPA. Bim raved about this alcohol bomb that he sampled at Rehoboth, and his attempt at it's recreation was quite good. Following this sweet, syrupy beer, we cracked open one of the few new beers available at Total Wine, the Industrial IPA (7.9%) by Diamond Knot. It had a somewhat chalky taste, as if it was brewed at a industrial chalk factory, and rated only a so/so. Red Hook Eisbock 28 (11.8%) was marketed as a "ice processed winter warmer". Snake's idea of a winter warmer is dropping a Cleveland steamer in his pants while out on the frozen plains hunting caribou. We were a bit worried, but this beer was no Cleveland Steamer bean, in fact, it was smooth and sweet, and garnered a really good. Then back to Avery for their Old Jubilation Ale (8.3%). Prince Mike took a healthy swig, and immediately declared, "Ho Ho Whoa... this shit is weak." A very solid so/so. But we weren't finished yet. Prince, who'd recently returned from recent trip to Fuquay Varina, NC (pronounced Fucky Vagina) brought back two growlers of beer, a Hog Wild IPA (6.7%) and a Devil's Tramping Ground Tripel (9.2%), brewed by Aviator Brewing. Who are these guys? No one in the group could find this town on a map, but damn can they make beer. Despite the fact that the growlers were a week old, they were both quite good and rated so. It was about this time the the meeting descended into mayhem. We started drinking every previously reviewed beer we could find, and our Santa Bim went from Jolly Old Nick, to just another smelly old drunken child molesting Santa wannabe. Until next time, Merry Christmas Bitches!!!

2 comments:

picnicman said...

Well written article, I enjoyed it much.
How often does the Beer Club for "Men" get together?
I imagine finding a space suitable to fit all the portable oxygen bottles and Hover-round scooters is difficult to come by on a gloryhole cleaner's salary.

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