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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Themes... who needs em?

When the BC4M began meeting, we organized each meeting around a particular theme. Not all our ideas are good ones. Here are some of the themes that were deemed too racy or just too damn weird to ever use: What Would Jesus Drink? Bim liked the idea, but, fearing eternal damnation, the other members voted to pass on this. Plus, our resident bible scholar, Johnny Wilder, has researched the whole thing and discovered that Jesus drank only Heffeweisens... while Satan apparently drinks dopplebocks. We hate wheat beers! We love Doppelbocks! But no one was interested in "What Would Beelzebub Drink Night". Ales and Prostates. Dr. Bim offered to perform a prostate exam on each of they guys in exchange for a new ale. No one took him up on it, and in fact, Snake threatened to kill him if he ever mentioned it again. When Bim offered to instead give the wives a complimentary gyn exam, Fred's better half promptly kneed him in the groin. The idea was never again mentioned. Chitterlings Night. Snake once wanted to do a beer pairing with some of the fresh chitterlings that he had recently prepared. We love to eat and were all in favor of Chitterlings Night, until Crazy explained that chitterlings were pig intestines. At this point Tank threw up in his mouth, and the idea was officially squelched. And lastly, there was the Quench the Thirsty Homeless Night. This appealed to our altruistic senses, but it went bad real quick. We invited a group of homeless guys to a meeting. The only criteria was that we first asked them, "Do you like beer? And, are you a man?". Six disheveled guys showed up at Prince Mike's house, and within minutes it was pure mayhem. They were fighting over the 22 oz bottles of stout, and one guy pulled out a knife and threatened anyone who tried to get his bottle of Dark Lord from him. No one used a glass as they drank straight from the bottle, which they kept wrapped in brown paper bags. Luckily, they were not used to 12% beers, and they all passed out within minutes. This left us with a new dilemma... what to do with 6 old booze hounds. When a nuisance animal is captured, animal control relocates it far far away. So we piled the smelly old dudes into the bed of Bim's truck, and drove for hours, depositing them deep in the middle of the Great Dismal Swamp. Legend has it that they thrived out there and that they actually started a little brewery using rancid swamp water. You may have heard of it, it's called Anheuser Busch. It is with this in mind that the following beers were consumed on a night in October with no theme whatsoever. Pictures of those beers were taken on a camera that has mysteriously disappeared. Was there really a theme that evening??? Perhaps one that the BC4M will never admit to. No member will ever talk about what occurred that evening, and probably for good reason. That said, the beers that night were as follows: Jolly Pumpkin Calabaza Blanca (4%). While it sometimes smelled like a slow moving stream, the taste was nice. It rated a really good. BBC Homewrecker Double IPA (10%) was very smooth and rated good. Sam Adams Black Lager (4.9%) was a watery, tar colored bottle of goodness, and rated a good. Sam Adams Octoberfest (5.3%) has become our go-to session beer of the fall. Very drinkable, it rated a good. Highland's Clawhammer Octoberfest (5.0%)... not so good. It was watery, and only a so/so. Sam Adams Harvest Pumpkin Ale (5.7%) was not as good as the Octoberfest and rated only a so/so. Then back to Jolly Pumpkin, with their Bam Noire (4.3%) a dark farmhouse ale. We usually don't care for farmhouse ales, but this was a slightly sour smooth drink, and rated a good. Shipyard provided their Pugsley's Barleywine Style Ale (8.5%), which was good, followed by Arcadia Ale's London Porter (7.2%) another solid good. And we capped off the night with Sam Adams Dunkleweizen (5.1%) a garbage beer that was was not up to their standards and rated a sucks. Until next time, Kampai!


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