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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Tank Flashes a Flamingo

It was a Saturday evening in the quaint hamlet that we call home and Prince Mike was hosting a flamingo. For those of you new to the blog, a flamingo is the neighborhood party that was originally the brain child of our resident incognito genius J. Wilder. His idea was to have a random house in the hood host a get together to allow us to let loose and enjoy each others company. Generally what happens is the horde of neighborhood kids storm the pool in the backyard while we grownups sip or in some cases guzzle "adult beverages" and wait for them to get tuckered out. Once the kids have had enough fun for the evening, we usually drink some more and sometimes even have adult swim time. Believe me when I say, nothing quite beats the visual of a group of drunken adults playing naked Marco Polo at 1 a.m. Usually, we are forbidden by our better halves from having a BC4M meeting while a flamingo is taking place but this evening was slightly unusual. The ladies were gathered around the pool discussing their upcoming fall "vino exploration weekend" trip to the mountains, so while they ignored us we used that as an excuse to try a trio of new beers that Papa Guido himself, Frank the Tank had smuggled in. Tank had recently opened up a west coast location for his import/export business (they specialize in lead based painted infant toys and "authentic" Chinese medicinal herbs) and his VP of sales, Roberto "Blaze it up" Lucianno had sent him three new beers from San Diego's Green Flash Brewing for our tasting. With the BC4M journal located back at his house, Fred had to clumsily scribe the tasting notes on a barbecued chicken soiled paper plate (like any other Bulwer-Lytton prize winning author, nothing will get in his way of transcribing beer tasting history). First up was Green Flash Hop Head Red Ale (6.4%). This was a great start to the night and was full of flavor with a solid hop kick. This one was a firm good, so we moved on to Green Flash Double Stout (8.8%). Nothing says refreshment like a thick juicy stout on a hot muggy summer evening. As we poured this glass of 10W-40 Pennzoil, we were happily rewarded with a very tasty beer. A hint of chocolate combined with the heavy malt and surprisingly thin mouthfeel made us all agree that this rated a very good. The final beer of the quick tasting session was Green Flash West Coast IPA (7.3%). The west coast IPA is fast becoming one of our favorite styles of beer. Uber-hoppy with a meaty finish, this one isn't anywhere near as good as Pliny the Elder, but it was solid nonetheless and it rated a good. We quickly wrapped up our tasting when some of the girls came over to see what shenanigans we were up to. "Nothing to see here" said Bim as one of the lovely brides inquired as to why Fred was taking a picture of the three bottles. Thankfully, the ladies were all tipsy on the fermented grapes that they had been "sipping", so we avoided their scorn from having had a session under the auspices of a flamingo. We had to immediately adjourn the meeting when Snake had the balls to saunter out on the deck in his "swimsuit" since we were concerned that the ladies would probably begin hyperventilating upon seeing their neighborhood teddy bear that close to being "nekkid". Thankfully, Prince Mike had a ready supply of Pepcid to help soothe our collective heartburn and nausea from being exposed to that much man flesh, but at least we had another meeting in the books. In case any of you ladies are wondering, Snake does indeed do outcalls, and he can be booked for your next outing or party. Contact the head of the BC4M entertainment division, the maestro of booty-ranging himself D-Rail for more information. Until next time, flash out bitches......


Anonymous said...

I thought this was the BC4M. Sad when you have to slink away to taste some brews for fear of reprisal. I say drink your beer and to heck with the broads!