Squirrel Nut Sippers, Brown Ale Night

Ahhh, the first taste of spring, the flowers and trees showing signs of new growth, and cars, houses, yards and clothes covered in fucking pollen.........LOTS of it. This must have been the biggest yellow dusting we have seen in years, but that doesn't stop the BC4M from tasting new beers. In honor of the coming spring, we decided to delve into the collection of Brown Ales that Fred had stored up like a squirrel in winter with his nuts, (not those nuts). The members assemble at J. Wilders for a night of debauchery (generally that means slim jims, cheese dip and pretzels), First up, a local product from Richmond, Va, the Legend Brewing Brown Ale (6.5%). This is a great,easy drinking beer that 10pm once had on tap in his kegerator. This is a good beer to drink on any occasion and it elicited a good. Next was Carolina Brewing's Cottonwood Low Down Brown Ale (5.4%). On the label it had a picture of what looked like Sean Connery as the king in First Knight, and surely he didn't approve of this swill. Words like Chewy Sour garbage were thrown out as this rated a SUCKS and a WTF, never buy this shit again from Fred. Onwards we march, to Left Hand Brewing's Deep Cover Brown Ale (4.3%). This was rated a good and as one member stated, "a solar powered green peace ale", and another who shall remain nameless (Bim Bim), "great mouthfeel, chewy, followed by a mouth hug". The only thing the rest of the members wanted a mouth hug on was (well never mind, anyone should be able to figure out what we mean) Contact us if you need clarification. Crack the top on RJ Rockers Bald Eagle Brown (5.5%) which SUCKS cause as Fred said, "a carbonated taste and malt free beverage, did RJ forget the malt and hops?". Our next offering was Brooklyn Brewing's Brooklyn Brown (5.6%) (brewed in Utica NY according to the bottle) which was a so-so to decent, nothing special, just there, and as a member stated, "I would drink this again, but only if i was in Utica". A slightly off subject beer was next, Anderson Valley Brewing's Boont Amber Ale (5.8%) which boasts a picture of what looks like the offspring of a horny grizzly bear mating with a moose elk. Imagine if you would those golden days of pre-cable TV when Marlin Perkins and his trusted assistant Jim would go off on an adventure on Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. I can hear Marlin now as they witnessed the majestic horned moose bear, the king of the vegetarian salmon chasers. So-so was the result of this "mass marketed home brew" although the discussion on the label proved to be entertaining. Our favorite craft brewer, Dogfish Head was up next with their Indian Brown Ale (7.2%). As you loyal readers know, we love the DFH, but they are 50/50 when it comes to making good beer, but we will vow to try all of them, taste buds be damned. Better after the first sip, this got better tasting as we drank more of it and it rated a good. Another curveball to the brown ale then came up as Fred produced an import from Scotland packaged in a special box that said, "Ale matured in whiskey casks" Hand numbered at #12915 (out of 20000) we thought, lets break open this vixen from our ancestral homeland (all of us except D-rail, who was descended from Ghengis Khan, the great poet laureate from Kazakstahn). Harviestoun Ola Dubh Ale (8.0%) was dark as night, gloopy, as if we were cracking open the engine on a Studebaker after 100,000 miles and drinking the results. However, don't let looks deceive you dear readers, this was a Good on the cusp of RFG, thick rich dark goodness, do yourself a favor and buy one today. As J. Wilder said, "if this was a brown ale it would be an RFG". Next up was part deux of the collaboration beer between Brewdog and Stone, Bashah (8.0%) which was rated by the boys on Popcorn Sutton night. Still rating a solid good, only Snake dropped it a grade saying, so-so to good. Alas, maybe the WC4W ladies were right, we might have been too tipsy to call this one back on that mountain. Kind Beer's Belgian Style Red Ale (6.0%) (WTF said Fred, this is BROWN ale night) but we drank this anyway, another dope smoking red diaper doper baby beer, that rated a Good, and we thoroughly enjoyed it. Back on track, we tried our second favorite East Coast brewer, Troeg's Rugged Trail Nut Brown Ale (4.4%). Great session beer, Another winner from our boys in Pennsylvania, GOOD. On to Avery Brewing Co.'s Ellie's Brown Ale (5.8%). Like Coors, it is brewed with Rocky Moutain Water, but it sure as fuck tastes better than the "banquet" beer ( maybe Coors is for a banquet full of Arabs that got their tongues cut off for lying). Good to very good, we would drink this by the case. Next, was Smuttynose Brewing's Old Brown Dog Ale (6.7%) which was also another solid session beer, we were on a roll with good beers. Opening the fridge saw us try a commercial mass marketed beer, Newcastle Brown Ale (4.7%) which nearly everyone has tried at some time in their drinking past. "The one and only" according to the bottle, "says who?" Fred said, "The Michelob of brown ales" it was a so-so. Out of brown ales, but still wanting to drink, we went back to Fred's and gathered a mess of beers we had yet to try. Legend Brewing's Tripel Ale (9.0%) was a so-so. Yea we know, its a belgian style ale. Ever wonder why we don't judge many Belgian beers? Cause we don't like Euro-trash wannabe ales. To top it off, a picture of a squealing gay unicorn on the label made us all think WTF. Caldera Brewing Co.'s Oregon Brewed IPA (6.1%) was passed around next, and it garnered a great, but not as good as the king of IPA's, Ranger. The latest release from Troeg's, Sunshine Pils (5.3%) was next and it got a good, but it isnt their best offering, D-Rail stated, "Compared to Bud Light this is a good". . Starr Hill's The Love (4.6%) was a wheat style beer (J. Wilder dont likey the wheaties) that rated a so-so with a strong citrusy taste. And then, the moment arrived. Basically, our favorite brewers are Troegs, Stone, Dogfish Head and a little operation in Colorado, Oskar Blues. They make their beer in cans, (thats right, like screw tops on wine bottles, can beer is here to stay), We decided to try a can of their Gordon (8.7%), "Big red sticky". Gordon is named for Gordon Knight, a beermaker's beermaker who perished fighting forest fires in Colorado at age 52. Cheers to the man who lived passionately and gave immensely. On the can it says "If you know Gordon Knight, this beer needs no explanation, if you didn't we're sorry" RFG, the smoothest beer any of us had ever tasted. It was so good, we opened another one of their offerings, Old Chub (8.0%) a scottish style ale, that was almost as good as Gordon and also received an RFG. ( 2 RFG's in a row and from the same brewer nonetheless......incredible!). Armed with the 2 newest members of the RFG class, we trudged on, well past 1 am by now. Ska Brewing's ESB (5.7%) was the 3rd canned beer in a row and while not an RFG was deemed a good. "Lip up fatty" proclaims the can. Only two beers remained, Big Boss Brewing Co.'s Hells Belle (7.0%) from NC, had a great bottle, "Run away, Take Her on" shouted the label, but after tasting her, she got a so-so. The final beer of the night Paulaner Hefe-Weizen (5.5%) boasted 360 years of brewing, since 1634) (somehow those numbers don't add up to 2010 but they are German and they aren't known for science or mathematics are they?) It got a good, and with that, our drunken journey had ended for the night. Thankfully, the farthest one has to walk home is 10 houses away, so we all made it home to rest up for another beer-stravaganza......