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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Saturday, April 3, 2010

English Night

Hail to our English brothers, tonight's your night! I don't know who decided to do beers from across the pond, but why not? We've all seen those drunken hooligan soccer fans kicking the living shit out of each other. They ain't drinking KoolAid! What is it that makes these guys so violent? We aimed to find out just that. The night started with Wychwood Scarecrow, Golden Pale Ale (4.7%).This is an organic beer, which automatically makes us skeptical. The beer was a little fruity tasting, but the label had a cool picture of a scarecrow, which we all liked. That said, we rate the beer, and this was only a so/so. Next up was Wychwood Fiddler's Elbow (4.5%). Another great bottle with what we believed to be a picture of Willie Nelson jamming on a fiddle. Who knew that Willie was so popular in England? However, the beer was only a so/so. Samuel Smith Old Brewery Tadcaster (5%) was next. It lacked taste, and rated only a so/so. Greene King's Abbot Ale (5%) was our first English canned beer with a widget. We like widgets... magical little devices that shoot carbonation into canned beers when opened. The can had a cool picture of some dude who looked like the pope. Who knew that the pope was a beer drinker? My parish priest used to like to share dozens of beers with me when I was an 8 year old altar boy, until we both passed out, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. The widget was cooler than the beer, which rated only a so/so. Next up was Morland's Old Speckled Hen Ale (5.2%) which was brewed to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the MG. It's named after some old car that used to sit out on the brewery grounds. Tasted a little like they brewed it with the MG's used oil! The can looked like an Olde English 500 Malt Liquor which earned it a few points. Still, it was a so/so. Tetley's English Ale (3.6%), was the weakest of the alcohol beers, but when you open it, the widget sounds like an F-14 with full afterburners. This beer was smooth and creamy, but rated only a so/so. Boddington's Pub Ale (4.7%) also boasts a widget, but it tasted flat and rated a so/so. Fuller's London Pride Pale Ale (4.7%), finally brought us our first Good. This beer is quite tasty. This was followed by another English staple, Bass Ale (5.0%). This beer is said to have been enjoyed by both Buffalo Bill and Napoleon, among others. If it's good enough for them, it's good enough for the BC4M, and it rated a good. And that was it for the Brits. Time to break out some others... First up was Monty Python's Holy Grail Ale (4.7%) which is brewed in NY. We like the idea of this beer being "tempered over burning witches", but would rather it be brewed the old-fashioned way. It rated a so/so. Ayinger provided the Altbairisch Dunkel (5%). This Bavarian Dark Lager was a thriller. Every sip tasted different. The first sip was dog urine, the second was fairly good beer, and the third was awesome. It rated a solid good. Widmer Brothers Drop Top Ale (5%) was what was in my keg, and it hadn't been rated yet, so tonight was the night. This is a clean amber, easy to chug, slightly sweet. It rated a good. And the last beer of the night was the Rogue Hazelnut Brown Nectar (6.2%). Fred, like the giant squirrel that he is, stocked up on nutty ales, and needed to start unloading them, hence the Rogue. This beer is REALLY HAZELNUTTY!. It is the turtle sunday of beers, and was described as a desert beer, best served warm with whipped cream. It was a good. That was it... all out of beers. So Fred broke out the Blenheim's Ginger Ale. This is some hot, spicy shit! An RFG of ginger ales! The elixir of the South! No doubt the sweetest firecracker in existence! And to cap off the night, in a nod to Tank, we finished with a shot of Maker's Mark, chased with a Dogfish Head Pangea. The Maker's rocked... the Pangea still sucks. It was a jolly good show, but the night was over.