Snake's pretzel hound rodeo

Thursday night was out for a meeting this week since some of the members were gonna be out of town, so we decided to move our scheduled tasting to Friday night. It was a remarkably pleasant evening, so the gang assembled on the deck at Snake's hacienda for a night that went down as one of the funniest times we have had. Fred brought over a plethora (Latin for a whole shit load) of beers for us to sample. Starting the night off was one that Snake's son in-law had brought back from Canada. Having a Canadian beer to start off was ironic, since earlier in the evening, Fred and BimBim had gone to the oceanfront for a few drinks with their better halves and got the opportunity to share a table with 3 Canadian sailors. They definitely were a hoot to hang with, but they didnt know jack about good beers. One of them ordered a Coors Light and exclaimed, damn thats good. Gahan Brewing's Island Red (5.3%) was the Canuck beer we tried, and it was a decent ale, one which you could drink a lot of, especially if you were catching lobsters off of Prince Edward Island where this is made. We rated it a good, and moved on to Fort Collins Brewery's Barrel Licked Bock (10.2%). The bottle said it took "14 months to get this bock just where we wanted it". Its aged for over a year in a cellar, and 8 weeks in oak barrels. This was a smooth, but very sweet bock, even though the label said it had "ephemeral charred notes". Everyone looked at each other and said, WTF is that supposed to mean?, Fred suggested it was the taste you get when you actually lick the barrel this syrup was fermented in. In hindsight, it meant a taste that was fleeting, but hey, who said any of us were Harvard English professors. Next was Olde Hickory Brewery's Doppelbock Lager (9.0%). This was one of the beers we brought back from our roadtrip and it was a native Carolina beer. Other than the UNC mascot, I never knew bighorn rams lived in North Carolina like the ones shown on the label. Maybe they were lookouts for ole Popcorn Sutton and his moonshine stills. Then again, geographical inaccuracies are often overlooked by us if the beer is good and this one was definitely good. Widmer Brothers The Original Drifter Pale Ale (5.7%) was offered next, and it was decidedly different that the bocks we had just had. This one was very light and rated a good, as one member said "tastes like a grapefruit thirst quencher". Next was a Lagunitas Imperial Stout (8.2%) which had a great story on the side of the bottle, but only if you can read a story written in a font that would easily fit on the side of a grain of rice. Seriously though, look this one up on the net and read the hilarious story of a "wild eyed charlatan in pre-Bolshevik Russia". Another solid beer indeed, so Fred then reached into the cooler and produced a Tucher Bajuvator Doppelbock (7.2%), an import from Bavaria (Germany for those that didn't pass 7th grade cartography). Doppelbocks are our favorite beers as most of you know, but this sure as hell aint one of them. "This sure as fuck isn't a Celebrator" said one while another said, "This tastes like an alcoholic Grape Gatorade", while a third said, "That's a doppelbock? No fucking way". This beer was way too watery to even consider it a bock much less a doppelbock. This is more akin to a real bad quad style beer than a bock. Verdict...it Sucks. On to Smuttynose Big Beer Series Maibock (6.2%). A self described "robust seasonal lager" we all looked forward to trying this "bottle conditioned in 2009,2010,2011, 2012" beer. WTF? Ummm, this is 2010 right? Are we about to jump in the DeLorean with Marty Mcfly for an episode of Back to the Future? I mean, I know the economy is rough and we all need to cut costs, but seriously, you guys are so fucking cheap that you have to pre-print labels 2 years in advance? Minus 2 points already...which isnt good for a beer that only rated a so-so to good. Try again in 2 years fellas. Next was a second chance for Fort Collins Brewery's Maibock (6.5%) which was rated a so-so on the roadtrip. This one was much better than the first and was quite tasty, without being weak or thin and rated a good. It had long since gotten pitch black outside, so we then tried Clipper City Brewing's Heavy Seas Siren Noire (8.0%). This is an Imperial Chocolate Stout and it poured like a batch of melted 80% cacao chocolate. This beer was a real stout, heavy and thick without weighing you down, with a hint of sour (like a dark chocolate) would taste. A solid beer all around. Since we were at it, we poured another dark as night beer, Terrapin Brewing's Side Project The Dark Side (8.5%) which was a Belgian Style Imperial Stout ( they take the fruity yeasts the Belgians are known for and throw it into a stout style beer). "Dark as the underside of Vaders cape" screamed the bottle, and it was velvety smooth, like a "creamy milky way bar", but the taste fell flat and it only received a so-so to good. The first one to finish his glass was Snake, who proclaimed, "I'm dry as toast over here!", to which another heavy battleship of a beer was pulled from the cooler. Full Sail Imperial Stout (8.0%) only got a so-so, cause it tasted like someone had poured the beer out and replaced it with a throwback to our old college days Evan Williams bourbon. Another import was up next, Schloss Eggenberg Doppelbock Dunkel (8.5%) which poured a nice mahogany color but didn't do much for us as it tasted a little flat but still had good flavor so it garnered a so-so. We we 13 beers in, and we had promised not to rate more than 15 beers since our taste buds were probably ruined after more than 10-15 beers in one sitting. We took a little break while we pondered our last 3 beers of the night and had a few snacks. We were all pretty well feeling the effects of these heavy beers, so J Wilder decided to get up and smash a pretzel rod against Bim's forehead. One of the members said, "I just saw a pretzel fly to centerville turnpike." (a road near our hood). This blatant assault with a salty weapon had sent a piece of pretzel flying 200 feet into the backyard. Bim and Wilder decided to go measure just how far it had gone. While they were out there, the dog of Snake's son inlaw went to help find the pretzel. When the boys saw Tucker, they decided they would try and catch him. Tucker is a rambunctious ball of energy and let me tell you, we bout pissed ourselves watching those two numbnuts out in the yard trying to corral that dog. Tucker looked like a 4 legged Barry Sanders as he outfoxed his two drunken foes. After they got winded, they brought themselves back up on the deck for the final beers of the night. Southern Tier Brewing's Jah-va Coffee Stout (11.0%) seemed like the perfect wakeup call. Supposedly brewed using Jamaican coffee beans, this beer had as much coffee taste as a whopper with cheese does. Nonetheless, it tasted pretty good, but maybe they simply mislabeled this one in the brewery. The next to last beer of our pretzel bashing adventure was Mikkeller's Beer Geek Breakfast (7.5%), another Imperial Stout. This one was decent, but nothing overwhelming, as it lacked any standout tastes. We then opened a bottle of Orkney Skullsplitter (8.5%) which had received the coveted RFG in Maggie Valley. The rest of the group enjoyed this one just as much, and Snake said, "Thats fucking good!". And so another drunken evening had ended. Pretzels smashed, dogs chased and beers both good and bad consumed. Until our next adventure......ride that doggy.

Longshot Night

"While the wives are away, the BC4M drinks more beer". And so it was another night of beer tasting. A few of the ladies auxiliary wing of the BC4M (otherwise known as the wine club for women) decided to have a night of bacchanalia (or lots of chatting while gulping down the vino) down at 10pm's house. Bim and Fred went to J. Wilder's for a quick sampling of this years Sam Adams Long Shot winners. Generally, two random folks and one Sam Adams employee are selected as the winners of Sam Adam's annual homebrew competition and then their recipes are made into beer that is sold to the masses. First up was Mile High Barleywine Ale (9.8%) made by Ben Miller of New Mexico. The bottle said this was the 100th homebrew that old Ben had conjured up. It might not be a well known fact, but the BC4M members have been avid homebrewers for several years, and in fact we were making beer (well technically it is beer) long before we ever thought about rating beers for sport. Several of our homebrews, namely CHC Best Bitter, Swamp Fire Ale and Pole-smoker Porter have garnered the attention of not only the E.P.A., but the A.T.F. and the U.S. Surgeon General for their toxicity to the general public. But unlike the lads in the BC4M, it seems old Ben Miller knows how to make a good beer. As resident brewmaster BimBim said upon reading the bottle, "Only his 100th homebrew huh, I hate that fucking guy already". We poured a round and all agreed, this was one damn fine beer, smooth, rich and extremely tasty. Next up was Old Ben Ale (9.0%), brewed by Mike Robinson of the granite state, New Hampshire. Fred said, "why the hell is it called old Ben Ale, shouldn't it be named Old Mike Ale?". This poured a nice rich head and received a solid good, but not as good our first longshotter. This beer had a robust amount of sweetness to it, not overpoweringly sweet like shotgunning a bottle of Aunt Jemima's maple syrup would be, but it was sweet nonetheless. Finally, the last of the 3 Longshots was opened, the Lemon Pepper Saison (6.4%) which was made by Sam Adams employee Jeremy White. When we (i.e. most sane people) think of lemon pepper, the first thought is probably a grilled chicken recipe, or maybe even fish. But oh no, Jeremy said, lets put that shit in a beer. If I was Jim Koch, the founder of Sam Adams, I would first fire Jeremy for making "grilled tilapia in a bottle", and second I would fire the numbskull who actually tasted this "Long John Silvers drive-thu special" and said, we have a winner. Whoever drinks this shit and says it is good either, doesn't drink beer, or has had his or her tongue removed. Fred took one gulp and poured his out, while the other two members drank their "chicken of the sea" and said this stuff SUCKS. Too cleanse our palates of this awful concoction, we drank another bottle of Flying Dog Horn Dog (10.2%) which is a Barleywine style Ale. We first drank this in the mountains of N.C. and loved it, but we had to have another taste. This is what a good beer tastes like Jeremy, and although not quite an RFG, it was very good. Since it was a school night ( we all had to work the next morning), we adjourned and reveled in the fact that we got to sneak in a meeting on a non-regularly scheduled night. Be afraid dear readers, you might be drinking our beer next year when we win the 2011 Longshot contest. Until then, Prost!

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell night

After surviving the 20 beer blitzkrieg of our record setting meeting, the boys decided that an evening of cinema was in order. The resident literary expert, BimBim, had recently discussed the merits of a little book of supposedly true to life stories he had stumbled across. Bim said this book would be banned in most countries, and any woman that actually said she liked the book was obviously swinging for the other team. "I Hope they serve beer in hell" was the name, and someone in Hollywood thought it would be a good idea to turn it into a movie. Fred found the dvd at the local Target (or Tar-zhay as the locals know it). What better thing to do while watching a new movie than try a few beers? With no real theme for the beers, we simply cracked open what was in the beer fridge, a mix of previously drank but not rated beers and some we had never sampled. The first couple of beers were from Dogfish Head ( as you all know, we love the DFH), 90 Minute IPA (9.0%) which was incredibly smooth, for a heavy hopped beer, this is velvety smooth, and rated a good, on the cusp of RFG. We then tried the 60 Minute IPA (6.0%) which was good but not as smooth as the 90 min. The boys at DFH can make a killer IPA, and they actually have a combo IPA, the 75 Minute Johnny Cask that takes the IPA to whole new level. The only member to actually taste Johnny Cask is J. Wilder (see the attached picture from the DFH brewpub, thanks for bringing some back douche) and he said it blows both the 60 and 90 Minute versions away. Can anyone say Road trip? Next up was Founders Brewing's Double Trouble IPA (9.4%). These guys make some great beers, and we are still patiently awaiting the arrival of their KBS (Kentucky Breakfast Stout, the beer that has achieved legendary cult-like status as the best beer in America). This one was described as,"smooth hoppy goodness" although according to Jon Wilder, "it didn't make me all hard like the 90 Min did". A great beer indeed and to think, we hadn't even started the movie yet. If you have kept up with our postings, you know one our new favorite brewers is Oskar Blues, which has had 3 of their beers receive the coveted RFG. We tried their newest canned slice of heaven, Gubna Imperial IPA (10.0%). Boasting over 100 IBU's (thats International Bitterness Units, a method of describing how bitter a beer is based on the amount of hops used. The top of the measurement range is about 100, and this self-desribed "hop grenade" says it is over 100). We surely believe it. But let me tell you dear readers, this beer SUCKS. Even your favorite beer maker can fuck shit up, and Oskar is surely singing the Blues with this can of "onion flavored dishwater", or as resident curmudgeon Fred said, "this is like drinking a can of Roundup, only Roundup tastes a lot better". Fred was certainly happy he had wasted 15 bucks on these 4 cans of herbicide, but hey, they have a great batting average when it comes to making good beers. We cleansed our palate and then popped the cap off of Primator Doppel Bock (10.5%). We love the bocks and doppelbocks, but this so-so rated beer tasted like "fortified maple syrup" and one member said, "oh yea, if I run out of Cocoa Pebbles in the morning I just pour a bowl of this stuff, its the same fucking thing". Another insane beer from Dogfish Head, Fort (18.0%) was poured for all the members. 10pm showed up just in time to try this beer brewed with over 1 ton (2000 lbs. for you folks that slept through weights and measures class in 3rd grade) of pureed raspberries. All but 10pm gave this a good, he said it was so-so. This unique beverage tasted liked a much improved version of Boone's Farm Wine, but still retaining the carbonation of a beer. Somehow the movie still hadn't started and J. Wilder had to bid adieu to take his bride out for a date, and 10pm was playing the role of chaperone for a few of the BC4M wives and their night on the town, so it was down to a 3 pack of beer hounds. We went ahead and started the flick and tried a few more beers. Lefthand Brewing's Chainsaw Double Saw Tooth (9.0%) was offered next and all of us said "thats a damn good beer, we could drink alot of this smooth elixir". Bonus points for the label on this beer being wicked cool (insert joke here about how lame it is for a Southerner to use a Yankee term like wicked cool). Thomas Creek Brewery's Kind Beer Pale Ale (7.3%) was next, and it was better than the Chainsaw and rated a Good to almost an RFG (we will drink this one again with full membership present to see if it actually will join the hall of RFGs.) While we tasted this one, the movie got going, and let me tell you, there are some side-splitting, beer shooting out of your nose moments to be had. I can't go into too many details, but if crude language and sexual humor isn't your thing, don't waste your money. If your capable of laughing at a scene of a guy running through a hotel lobby while vainly attempting to keep from pooping his pants, well then welcome home. Guys, unless your girl is completely drunk, or rides a bigger motorcycle than you, or can out bench press you, or is a butch named Pete, keep this movie away while she is around. She would probably be happier if she walked in on you up late one night watching Skinemax than laughing at the antics of Tucker Max. Even though Bim said the book was 1000 times funnier and grosser, this movie was full of laughs. Guys (and no I don't mean you girly men that drink Bud Lite w/Lime), get some cold beers and prepare to laugh your fucking nuts off. The final beer of the night (honestly by coincidence) was Flying Dog's Raging Bitch Belgian Style IPA (8.3%), which was how many of the girls in the movie would have been described by any dude that still has a full sack. Good but not RFG, we had ended the night with 3 straight beers that are very good indeed. The movie ended and soon after so did our night, but our quest for new beers is neverending. Until next time..."Drink up bitches!"