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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Friday, September 23, 2011

BC4M Doing It Doggy Style

As part of his job as a condom salesman, Crazy Ken recently traveled to Lexington Virginia to restock the gas station rubber machines with French Ticklers , Little Willy's, and generic condoms. Ken is a staunch supporter of condom use, often marching in area gay pride parades, spewing his message of condom awareness. However, putting all business aside, he stopped at a little brewery in Lexington called Blue Lab Brewing. While there, he picked up three growlers of their beers, IPA, Fresh Hopped IPA, and Stout. We started with the Blue Lab IPA (6%). Right from the start this one tasted familiar. Not the cigarette and Virginia Gentleman breath of a Norfolk hooker familiar, but something equally disturbing. This beer was a not so distant cousin of the CHC Brewing's homebrew, which is not a good thing. In a charitable move, we rated it a so/so. Next up was the Blue Lab Fresh Hopped IPA (6%). This beer was peppery, hoppy, with too little carbonation and too much homebrew bad taste. It was mentioned that it may have been made with the ball sweat of VMI cadets. It rated a sucks. And last up from this brewery was the Blue Lab Stout (4%). While by far the best of the three, it still had a bit of a homebrew taste and rated a split decision between so/so and good.
Having made short work of the Blue Labs, we proceeded to finish off the Thirsty Dog Brewing beers that Ken brought back after a condom stocking trip to Ohio. Ken was able to visit the brewery while there, but it wasn't long before Ken and his dog Butch were asked to leave after Butch became intoxicated and shit all over the tasting room floor. We started with the Thirsty Dog Raspberry Ale (3.9%). I haven't had beer this weak since I was 18 and drinking 3.2% beer in Ohio. This shit was weak, but had a nice raspberry smell and mild raspberry taste. Despite the light body, it rated a good. Next was the Thirsty Dog 75th Anniversary Ale (5.2%). We didn't bother to read the bottle, so we have no idea what 75th anniversary this ale celebrates. I would like to think it was the 75th anniversary of Popeye because "it is what it is and it ain't what it ain't." It's a good session beer, and rated so. Thirsty Dog Old Leghumper Robust Porter (6.7%) was a really nice porter. Smooth and dark as night, rating it a good. We then cracked open a Thirsty Dog Lock 3 German Style Lager (5.9%). It was agreed that the first sip tasted like ass, but by the third sip it was pretty good and rated so. And lastly, we tried the Thirsty Dog Siberian Night Imperial Stout (9.7%). This beer was good. It had a melted milkshake consistency, and it was a nice stout. However, it sure ain't Black Tuesday, and so it rated only a good. The general consensus was that Thirsty Dog makes some pretty good session beers. And with that, the BC4M doggystyle night was over, Woof Woof!  

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

sounds like you guys took one for the team on this trip only decent thing about ohio is the amusement parks I guess why all dog related beers I dono sounds like this dog shit on your beer parade..... @shadteks on twitter...sorry not feeling too clever this early afternoon

Jenny aka @HopsOnDeck said...

OK...Raspberry beer? 3.9% ABV Raspberry beer? You need to send me your man card now to save yourself the embarrassment of me finding you on the street and tackling you to the ground to snatch it from you. When you going to start reviewing Boone's Farm? I hear they make a nice apple wine.

Dr Gunthumper said...

As usual, things from Ohio suck. Wait, isn't Bim from Ohio...?

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