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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

"Jason" Rates a Mystery Beer

"Jason" says: I open the next unlabeled bottle from my fridge, the one of which Bim has no clue as to the contents. Could be good, could be bad, could kill me. Thankfully it didn't kill me, though if I'd had more than the two sips it may have done just that. After the quick sampling, an image is immediately projected into my mind. Someone has had this beer before. I believe this is a fairly adequate description, hence my breviloquence.


Bim Responds:  "Jason", it is true that this unlabeled bottle was in fact one of our early homebrewing attempts. I believe it was called CHC Best Bitter, which was really a misnomer, since it is the "best" of nothing. As noted on a previous post, we were drunk while brewing, while not technically a crime, it should be as noted by this brewing result. It's possible that we may have used Drano in the brewing process as well as several other toxic household chemicals. There is a definite hint of Ortho wasp killer in the taste. Our previous description of this particular concoction was that "I hesitate to even call it beer". In hindsight, it's more of a medicinal tonic, best used to relieve oneself of constipation. In fact, it is sold in twelve countries as a colonoscopy prep. Now that you've sampled it, we're glad to have one less bottle we have to choke down. If you were a friend, I'd tell you to immediately seek medical attention. In your case, my advice would be to "go towards the light".



krazyitalianirish said...

Hehe...Bim said 'choke'.