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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Fruit of the Loom

Fruit beers. Just the name can nauseate beer connoisseurs. We have always felt that fruit beers are for people who either don't like beer, or those who like their drinks with little paper umbrellas in the glasses. The only fruit we like in our beers is the hop - technically not a fruit, but close enough. So it was that Fred called an impromptu gathering of the Founding Fathers to sample a few fruity selections from his massive beer fridge, that he could no longer bear to watch age. Upon hearing the cry for a Fruit of the Loom night, Wilder ran to Bim's house with Fred in hot pursuit, both in the uniform of the day. We started off with a New Glarus Raspberry Tart (4.0%). This amazing beer uses a shitload of fermented raspberries in each bottle. It has a few of the other traditional beer ingredients as well, like hops, yeast and barley, but you'd be hard pressed to find any hint of them here. This is one fruity drink, but a damn good one! We could drink this shit by the gallon, kind of like Crazy Ken's fruity moonshine brewed by his uncle Popcorn. It was an easy RFG. Next up was New Glarus Wisconsin Belgian Red (4.0%), another over-the-top fruit bomb that we loved. Think Luden's cough drop, in liquid form, with a little bit of alcohol, and you've got this beer. It was easily another RFG. Then came the Brassiere Cantillon's Kreik Lambic (5%). This beer smelled like ass initially, which would put off most beer drinkers but not us. We continued on and were rewarded with a really good beer. Bubbly and sour, an easy Really Good rating. Avery Brabant (8.65%) is a barrel aged wild ale that's aged in zinfandel barrels. What a nice beer. Smooth, with a sour wine taste at the end, rating it a really good. Avery Depuceleuse (9.59%) is another beer aged in zinfandel barrels. This sour beer is a little lighter in color than it's cousin, and much more sour with a slight baby applesauce smell. Don't believe us??? Drink one yourself, asshole! All in attendence agreed it was really good. Last up was a Port Brewing Mongo IPA (8.5%). No, this is no fruit beer, but it was a damn good beer nonetheless. A fruity, Pliny-like smell, smooth as silk, hoppy as shit. This is a damn good IPA, rating a really good. With no more beers to taste, this informal Fruit of the Loom night had come to an end, and the group departed home with dreams of sugar plumb fairies and raspberry tarts dancing in our heads.


Goats_Udder said...

I had the New Glarus Cherry this last weekend. It was amazing. There is so much fresh fruit flavor in this beer... I feel like I got all my Antioxidants in one glass!