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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Lent: Time to Give it Up Baby!

If you grew up Catholic, you know about Lent. It's that time of year when believers give up something they cherish. With that in mind, the BC4M gathered the troops and declared what we were giving up for Lent. First up was Bim. "I'm giving up fucking sheep," he declared, "but all other animals, farm and domestic, are still in play". D-rail, always the pragmatist declared that he was giving up sex...with women... which, for some reason drew howls of laughter. Next was Fred's turn. Fred, who invented the worlds largest silicone breast implants, gave up his favorite past time, motorboating. Johnny Wilder, the CHC dance champion, offered to give up dancing for a month, which made everyone else at the BC4M dance club ecstatic. Prince Mike offered to give up drinking Hell or High Watermelon Wheat beer, which we all called "bullshit" on, as everyone knows that drinking your own urine is better than drinking this shit! And lastly Snake, who, unbeknown  to even his wife, is a renowned pornograhic tree collector,  offered to quit masturbating to his tree pictures. Fred immediately volunteered to safeguard the collection. With the declarations complete, it was on to the tasting.

We are still slowly working through Fred's massive haul from San Diego, so he provided us with plenty of new beers. Bim had also recently been on a beer exposition, and brought the group a fine selection from Georgia. First up was Karl Straus' Big Barrel Double IPA (9.0%). Despite the 9% ABV, this was a real nice beer, hoppy, malty, and would make a great session IPA... rating: good. Terrapin has produced a "Georgia Theater" series, sold only in the Athens Georgia area. We tried 3 of these beers (didn't get the heffeweisen, as they all suck balls). We started with Hoptaneous Combustion (9.3%), a Imperial Smoked Double IPA. An IPA version of a campfire in a bottle, it rated only a so/so. Next in the series was the Iron Tankard (9.4%) and old style ale. This glass of sugar pops was sweet, syrupy, and had an alcohol punch to the face. The boys liked it and rated it a good. The last beer in the series was Sound Czech Pilsner . Pilsners aren't our favorite beers, but this one was a good representative for the style, and rated a good. Fred then produced an Epic Armageddon  IPA (6.66%). Epic, from New Zealand, did a collaboration beer with Dogfish Head, a type of tomato beer that tasted like you'd think it would taste. This one tasted as if it may have been brewed with Peter Jackson's urine. A rather watery, weak alcohol taste, with a vanilla extract flavor. Who knew that Peter Jackson's urine tasted like vanilla? Needless to say, the beer was a so/so. Left Hand graced us with their 2009 Barrel aged Imperial Stout (10.4%). This beer was sweet and a good drinker, but lacked a strong stout base. Still, the group rated is a good. Mischief Gone Wild (8.5%) from the Bruery was next. What a nice beer. Tart, light refreshing, we all unanimously rated it a good. Saint Somewhere's Lectio Divinia (8.0%) was next. This is a really good beer and is advertised as a cross between a saison and a abbey double. Our first from this brewery, but it won't be our last. Hair of the Dog's Fred Barleywine (10%) was next. Of course Fred loved the name, while we all loved the beer. It rated a really good. Things were going great up to now. 10PM had just left the building (it was 10:01 after all) and Bim pulled out a Summit Wayside Cliffhanger Ale (4.8%). This shit was horrible. Apparently brewed by Rogue, using that patented waste water they brew with. It was like a bad glass of orange juice, rated a sucks, and got poured back to whence it came from. Karl Strauss' Parrot in a Palm Tree Porter (8.5%) was one of the best porters we've tasted. Smooth and quite drinkable, it rated a really good. The perfect anecdote to the last disaster of a beer. Klein Duimpje Imperial Russian Stout (8.5%) is brewed in the Netherlands. They are close enough to Russia that they should know what this style should taste like. Instead, their beer rated only a so/so. Rodenbach (5.2%), an oak barrel aged sour from Belgium, was another winner. It's sour without being over-the-top, and pleased even the non-sour lovers. It was a really good. Karl Strauss' 22nd Anniversary Vanilla Imperial Stout (9%) was another great beer. A hint of chocolate and vanilla, this was a damn good beer, rating a really good. Harpoon's Barrel Series Island Creek Oyster Stout (5.5%) was a good beer, but adding oysters to beer kind of creeps us out. It rated a good. Amager Bryghus Imperial Stout (10%) had the plain label you'd expect to see on 7-11 brand beer, but it was damn tasty, rating a really good. Then it was on the Great Divide's Grand Cru (11%) a Belgian Dark Ale. It rated a good with no description...fuck you people, we'd had 17 beers by this point and were barely able to speak coherently! Last beer of the night came from Howe Sound Brewing Co., Diamond Head Oatmeal Stout (5%) finished the night. This was a light stout but a good session stout that, if we had 15 more, would drink all night. And just like one of D-Rails many sexual encounters, it was over in the blink on an eye. Happy Easter everyone!


Anonymous said...

Just out of curiosity...does Bim do private shoes with dogs? I think a little video footage would be in order...with the esteemed Sir Peter Wanker giving commentary much like a tennis match...

Beer Club 4 Men said...

Thanks for the comment, but I am out of the show business end of things and anything I do now is for pure pleasure. I learned my craft from one of the animal molestation greats, an old queen by the name of Marlin Perkins. We had a TV show in the 70's called Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom...maybe you've heard of it. Marling was the bestiality king. I watched him once instruct a male lion to screw a female tiger. When the lion refused, Marlin whispered in his ear, "Either you screw her or I screw you". The lion trembled because he knew that Marlin would do it. Hence the world's first Liger.