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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Rogue Trip to Dela-where????

For the second time in mere months, Wilder was called upon to share his expertise in milky substances that harden in ultraviolet light with a batch of dental supply newbies in the quaint town of Milford, Del. You know what that means -- a side trip to Rehoboth Beach for some of the piquant potables available at Dogfish Head Brewings and Eats. D-Rail eagerly joined Wilder on the trek, as the two discovered the not-so-familiar gems Aprihop and Johnny Cask 75 Minute IPA (7.5%) their last time in Delaware. The Cask, a tasty beverage with the drinkability of the 60 and the crisp fruit and hop notes of the 90, would've easily have gotten an RFG, but there was a previous hang up from one member who said "there can't be ratings without a quorum of three founding fathers." It's rumored that the aforementioned member suffers from a debilitating disease known as cant-be-left-out-itis, in which the affected transmogrifies from one square-shaped cartoon character to another, the latter being Droopy the Dog. (Never knew one's jowls could actually sag so low -- where's my t-shirt? -- it's not a pretty sight). But as luck would have it, in the midst of witty chat about twin dentists and hot blondes from Tangier Island, the two beer clubbers happened upon a French-speaking Slovenian nurse and a Gaboon monkey -- both with discriminating palates -- to fulfill the needed number requirements. Wilder and Rail cheered their findings with a sampling of Redhook's Treble Hook Barley Wine (10.1%). Rail's not a big fan of the barley wines and found this version bittersweet and leaving a weird finish on the tongue. After three swigs, he cracked open an Oskar Blues Dale's Pale Ale. Wilder first satisfied his need for sweet with a Boylan's Creme Soda (0.0%) and then the Treble. His first impression of the Hook was that it was too sweet and the aftertaste was typically Redhook. The nurse concurred by demonstrating her ESBitter-beer face. Or maybe that was the long-awaited "Magnum." Wilder and Rail briefly focused their attention on the upcoming BC4M Beerfest tournament (Das booooot!) and then looked for a discount liquor/beer and porn store. Unfortunately, all they could find was a Manlove Parts store (auto parts, people). The random clatter of the monkey bouncing around in the back of the grocery-getter broke the redundancy of soybean fields and chicken processing plants, and soon the sight of the Dogfish Head oasis was a welcome one. Although that might have been because Wilder and Rail were delirious from the nurse's repeated renditions of Las Ketchup's Asajere.
First of the many brew-pub exclusives was Zeno (5.2%), a saison-style beer that was tapped the night before -- ahh, the beauty that is DFH Eats. Rail said it was a more pronounced version of Sam Adams Summer Ale, while the nurse mused "les parfums des peau d'agrume et poivre chantent." A solid good. Next was Life and Limb (10.0%), a collaboration between Dogfish and Sierra Nevada with very-limited availability. A sign was posted next to the door stating that this particular elixir, brewed with maple syrup and bottle conditioned with birch syrup for natural carbonation, was unavailable for carry-out purchase (sorry fellow beer-clubbers). Wilder, not wanting to break any "rules" bit his tongue before proclaiming it an RFG. So Rail said it for him -- it was really fucking good. Medium-bodied, dark roasted malt, with an alcohol bite and a maple finish. But this trip up Valhalla's steps was just the beginning, as draft-selections muh-muh-muh My Antonia (7.5%) and Unfiltered 90 Minute IPA (9%) both kicked ass. The Antonia is a continuously-hopped imperial pilsner and this beer surprised with in-your-face hop flavor from a light-bodied beer. Wilder, who said he's never found a lot of pilsners he's liked, favored the Antonia more than the Life and Limb and slightly better than the Unfiltered 90, which has similar malt and raisin tones as the D'Etre and a well-hidden alcohol punch. Wilder then demonstrated his Karate-Kid skills on an unsuspecting fly at the bar. Dogfish's last call-at-11 p.m. offering was Bitches Brew (9.0%), an imperial stout with a Willy Wonka-esque flavor trip through coffee peaks, hickory smoke clouds and chocolate rivers. D-Rail momentarily turned his head to witness the spontaneous squall on the DFH doorstep, giving the monkey the opportunity to suck down the rest of the brew. The monkey then flicked both thumbs up, but Wilder, who was partaking in an additional sampling of Life and Limb with the future proprietors of and a brewer's wife, who had a copy of "The Naked Pint" under her arm, was pretty sure he was flinging dung at our flannel-wearing bartender Kiki. We left the Dogfish mecca in search of more beer (not without picking up bottles of My Antonia and Namaste for the boys back home) and ended up at a sports bar called Grand Slam. There, D-Rail showed off his prowess at mini-basketball, terminator ass-kicking and big-game hunting. The duo also sampled Amber Sun Ale (5.5%) by 16 Mile Brewing Company in Georgetown, Del. The bartender described the ale as a mix of Yuengling and Blue Moon and she was actually spot on. Unfortunately it left D-Rail craving either of those beers instead of a combination. So-so to good, Wilder probably liked it a little better since he was double-fisting beers at this point in the night.
That's all from the road trip to DFH. A number of tasty bevvies, and you've got our rogue ratings -- no doubt, there will be a founding father blasting erroneous on this blog entry. Though to echo his favorite quotable: "If you can't make it to Dogfish Head for brew-pub exclusives, then fuck you." Hahahahaha!!!!


krazyitalianirish said...

Ahhh...DFH is on my agenda for an upcoming weekend o' DE bliss!! Nuthin like floatin on the bay at Seacrets (anyone for a 'Dirty Banana'?) and then sum Love Seed Mama Jump at B&C!! I will think of you (and possibly do an honorary naked dance for free brews?) while I'm there! Salute!