defrLatest Breaking News..

We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Sunday, June 24, 2012

An Evening with Ace and Gary



As many of you loyal readers know, we have been big fans of local upstart brewer, Beach Brewing and have watched as their beers have gotten progressively more bolder, daring and certainly tastier. While their initial offerings were pedestrian and mainstream, it was after they hired home brewing champion Chicago Mike to work alongside head brewer Jean-Pierre LaDouche (a.k.a. Dan the Farting Brewer) that their beers got bigger and better as they released amazing beers like Hoptopus and Diablo Roja. It seems that the magical pairing of the two guys the BC4M have dubbed "Ace and Gary", had created a veritable melting pot of great new ideas that has led to the surge in popularity of their beers. Looking to push the envelop even further, it was unfortunate that creative differences with Beach Brewing President Steve Stifler had caused our duo to head out on their own in an attempt to bring a "fresh" attitude to craft beer. With fascinating ideas such as their black IPA "Mandingo's Anaconda", a cream stout called "The Milkman Cometh" and an imperial stout named "The Devil's Taint" the two were convinced they would find enough backing to have their operation up and running in no time. Last week, after Ace and Gary were finished canvassing the Commonwealth drumming up investment capital for their new brewpub, Manhole Brewing and Eatery, they stopped in to a BC4M meeting to share a few of their new recipes. First up was a pair of freshly kegged sours, called surprisingly enough, "KOCK" and "BALS". KOCK or "King Of da Creampipe Kriek" and BALS "Bare Ass Lavender Sour" were aged for almost 3 weeks in a used Wild Irish Rose barrel. Evidently the two sours have been a huge hit wherever they go as one of Ace and Gary's biggest fans penned a fan appreciation video to thank them for their amazing beers. "I suppose we are to believe the only thing he tried was your beer?" said a smirking Fred while Bim added, "Is that Chaz Bono?" Both beers were actually quite tasty, and had a nice balance between sweet and tart while showing real promise for future batches. Next we tried The Brew Kettle White Rajah (6.8%). This one smelled amazing from the start. A bounty of citrus tantalizes your nose while the hop bite upon finish puts it among the best IPAs on the market. Really good was the result so we then tried another IPA, this time it was an Odell / Thornbridge Pond Hopper (9.5%). Even though this one is labeled an Imperial / Double IPA, it is much more reminiscent of the standard English IPA. Lots of sweet malt and sugary flavor gives way to just a hint of hop bite. "Too much fucking sugar, not enough fucking hops at all" said Chicago Mike as we gave this one a mere good. Another IPA was then opened, an Eagle Rock Populist (7.0%) which wasn't much of an improvement over the Pond Hopper. "West Coast IPA my ass" said Bim, as Fred added, "They wont be in business long if they keep making this shit". It graded as a good at best, so we then tried a Two Brothers Circus Penguin (5.9%), a pale ale supposedly brewed with organic beets and blood oranges. "What the fuck, another Greenpeace organic nonsense beer?" yelled Fred, while Jean-Pierre replied, "Organic Beets!....be still my beating heart". One sip and resident veterinarian Bim poured his out, "Tastes like it was made with dried monkey urine, and I would know". Lacking any recognizable flavors, it did however have a hint of hops and so it got a so/so. Next was a lambic from one of the best IPA breweries in America, Alpine and their Chez Monieux (5.8%). Bright ruby red color and a sweet and sour cherry flavor gave this one a nice touch that was a crowd pleaser. Really good was the score so we then tried Alpine and New Belgium's Gouden Vallei (7.29%). "I think that means Valley of Boobs" said the mammary loving Fred, while Wilder added, "Sounds like a great spot for our next man trip". This one is a pale ale spiced with pink peppercorns (what the fuck?) that adds a nice hit of spice to the finish. Crisp and airy, it was refreshing and rated a solid good. We then tried an Olde Schoolhouse Hooligan Stout (7.6%) that was typical of the style with a bit of cocoa on the back end and just enough hops to balance it nicely. A good we next opened an Odell Footprint RegionAle (9.5%). Seemingly taking a cue from Sam at Dogfish Head who is on a quest to add every fucked up sounding ingredient known to man to a beer, the boys at Odell decided to use an ingredient from each of the 10 states they distribute to. Jamming everything in the boil from wheat, corn, barley, green chilis and even prickly pears, this one has a lot going on. In fact, there is too much going on as the different flavors hit your taste buds at various times leaving your tongue confused. Its as if they took Thanksgiving dinner and blended it into a frappe so you can drink your whole meal at once. Thankfully this wasn't quite that bad and it finished decent but still only garnered a good. Our final beer of the night was a Ballast Point Tongue Buckler (10.0%). This was the first beer Fred and Nestle had when they went to California last year and this was also the first time any of the BC4M boys had a chance to try it. Big, bold, sticky and hoppy like a mofo, this is like Oskar Blues Gordon (or G'Knight to you newbies) on steroids. "Almost like a fucking barleywine" said Chicago Mike, while Wilder added, "My tongue is definitely buckled, but I ain't gonna lie, this shit is good". The consensus was that it was easily the equal to the RFG rated Gordon so it too joined the coveted list. Done for the night, we almost pissed ourselves laughing as we watched our favorite beer making duo make their way out the door. Until next time boys and girls...when you are thirsty and need something to "hose" you off just remember to check out our pals Ace and Gary.....they are always UP to something.

9 comments:

ILuvTheBirch said...

Good! Now that those two but wranglers are gone from Beach maybe Justin can change the name to Le beach and start brewing some great Italian Saisons!

Anonymous said...

Did you mean "butt" or "but"....

ILuvTheBirch said...

Butt. But is the is the hipster spelling.

Anonymous said...

Le Beach....Classic

TheItalianSaison said...

Well, Ace and Gary sound like they fit right in with you sad sack losers. A bunch of loser ass-hats in marble bags sitting in your mothers basements jerking off to Roadhouse.
If you guys concentrated on women as much as you do beer, the virginity rate in your neighborhood would plummet.
Get a life, fags!

Anonymous said...

Easy there Stifler!!!

Beer Club 4 Men said...

ROADHOUSE!!!!

ILuvTheBirch said...

Well judging by his name, TheItalianSaison knows beer, but I do take offense to the Roadhouse comment. Don't ever disrespect Patrick Swazye! That movie was a classic!

Anonymous said...

Nobody puts LeBeach in the corner...Ooooh wrong Swazye movie