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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Crazy Ken's RV

Fresh back from visiting his in-laws in Ohio, Crazy Ken saw the benefit of owning a home on wheels, and he promptly squandered his nest egg on a new "trailer house" he bought from a former "pharmaceutical manufacturer". He had clearly outgrown his old trailer house and was in need of an upgrade. Never missing an opportunity for adventure, the BC4M plied Ken with dozens of high alcohol beers until he volunteered his party wagon for the trip to Foothills Brewery for the 2012 Sexual Chocolate release. This beer draws hippies and ne'er-do-wells from all over the east coast (yes, the BC4M is in that clip, but our identities are concealed), in search of an above average Russian Imperial Stout with a picture of a smoking hot Foxy Cleopatra on the bottle. The trip started well, with a jovial Crazy at the wheel, Bim as the co-pilot, and the rest of the merry makers (Johnny Wilder, Fred, Nestle, The Drunken Polack, and Polly Pocket) in the back. We left at 1130 pm, and by the time we left our street, the beers were cracking. Hopslam, Heady Topper, Hoptopus were flowing like water. The karaoke began when we left the driveway, and didn't end until we arrived in Winston-Salem, upon which time Johnny, exhausted from singing "Dancing Queen" for the 800th time, passed out in sheer exhaustion. 5 hrs later, after the rest of us had frozen our salami's off sitting in sub-freezing temperatures, he rolled out of the trailer house looking all warm and toasty just in time to join us as we were entering the brewery to claim our dark rich and sultry prize. We found a table and decided to sample all the beers Foothill's had on tap while we recovered from the according to Doctor Bim, "mild case of hypothermia". He then added, "Generally, the ball sack thaws out before amputation becomes necessary." We started with a Salem Gold (3.75%). This light, colored water is a great beer for the Bud Light crowd, earning a so/so. Pilot Mountain Pale Ale (4.75%) was a little better, but not by much, rating a good although the label art is fucking amazing. Torch Pilsner (5.3%) had a bit less of the skunk spray smell that pilsners are known for, and was liked by all, rating a good. Peoples Porter (5.8%) was a session porter, with a little too much bitterness, but still an easy drinker, rating a good. And the last beer tasted was the Jade West Coast IPA (6.4%). This IPA rocks, rating a really good. If Foothills weren't 5 hrs away, we'd drink this shit every night. The first really good beer of the night/day. Crazy was already getting cranky before we left, as he attempted to give RV tours to passer-by's, and things only got worse. When we finally arrived back to the shaggin wagon, he was wild-eyed from sleep deprivation and a case of 5 hr energy drinks, stripped down to his undies, and directing traffic. WTF?  The ride back was a wild one as our host driver repeatedly swerved to avoid phantom animals all the while cackling like a Howler Monkey. Add to that the fact that a new Guinness World Record was recorded on the way back (Johnny Wilder was able to stuff 32 cheese puffs into his mouth at once! (Without gagging!....So, for a good time you know who to call.....)
and you have the making of another great adventure for the BC4M!


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