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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Let's Make a Deal

As you may know, we are beer trading fools at the BC4M. Fred spends countless hours online working out deals for rare beers like a carnival barker hopped on on a case of "Chernobly" and has even managed to score a Tahitian "masseuse" for D-Rail's enjoyment for only a few empty bottles of PBR. Show us some new beer, and we simply have to have it, so much so that we are fast becoming the "hoarders" of the craft beer world. The weirder or more rare the better. We have a list on the web page of beers we have for trade, but there's a few we haven't listed. These are special beers that should command a high price in the trading world. What follows is the world's first look into out secret stash.....Read on if you dare,

Big Beaver Brewing's Rosey Cheek's Whore Juice (made with real vaginal discharge from real whores, but only the real classy high dollar ones. A tasteless beer from the most tasteless brewery in the world)

Dog Fish Head Egyptian Dog Dick Ale (brewed with petrified dog cock from the tomb of noted dog lover Pharaoh Tutankhamen)

Lagunitas Sensimillia Hydroponic IPA (the original pot head brewers take this one to eleven by adding sweet Mexican bud to the mix. Unfortunately, they were all high and forgot to add the yeast, so after shotgunning a case of this swill, all you get is an increased desire to visit Taco Bell)

Rogue Sextuple Dead Guy Ale (who needs plain ole Double Dead Guy Ale when you can get this bomber filled with 6 times the coastal free range water and 6 times the Pacman yeast. Hooray!! Just what the world needs, supercharged shit water)

Three Floyds Satan's Piss Imperial Stout (these devil worshiping brewers sold their souls to make this one, feel the burn as this thick milkshake coats your tonsils with intense heat)

Beach Brewing Crotch Crab Pale Ale (are pubic lice really seafood for small animals? Who cares! They make a great addition to the malt character of this beer, but damn does it make your throat itch like hell)

Clipper City Heavy Seas Black as a Somalian Pirate  Porter (celebrating piracy in the 21st century with an ultra thin and weak porter fit for the malnourished modern pirate who's primed to be used as target practice by the U.S. Navy)

Epic Brewing Brainless on Meth (capturing the brainless spirit of Meth zombies everywhere)

Foothills Sex Panther Porter (Brewed with real bits of Panther...60 percent of the time it tastes good all the time. With a pungent scent that stings the nostrils, I gotta be honest, it smells like pure gasoline.)

Jolly Pumpkin Esta Mierda Chupa Bolas (don't be lazy, rosetta stone this yourself, chico)

Evil Twin's Watching a Porno by Yourself in an Empty NYC Hotel Room at 1am High on Crack (like all their brews, the name is clever, but the beer doesn't live up to the high price tag, sorta like that spanktravision movie that cost you 24.99 last night)

Bollywood Brewing Company's American Pale Ale (isn't it ironic that India's best beer maker can't brew a decent India Pale Ale so they resort to making this swill?)

If you think you have something rare or special and wanna get your hands on one of these exclusive beers, get in touch with us and ..Lets make a deal mother fuckers!


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