What's Round on the Ends and Hi in the Middle? O...HI...O...Mofo!

Another epic trip back to Ohio for me, Bim, and my lovely bride, Florence Naughtygale and kids. I was going to try, once again, to prove to family and friends that I am not, in fact, Cincinnati Gay. Although it was primarily a business trip (I own the largest gloryhole business on the east coast. We manage gloryholes in 12 states, all east of the Mississippi, mostly through contracts with state governments who allow us the use of their public restrooms).  In between a few awkward family meetings and some partaking of my second favorite kind of 3 way, the Skyline Chili type, we managed to get in a little beer shopping. First stop was a place called Dutch's. This used to be called Dutch's Pony Keg. Pony kegs are small beer kegs, but in Cincinnati, it's also a term used for small convenience stores. Back in the days of Bim's youth, were men were men and ships had sails, one could buy beer as well as block ice, sodas and maybe some nickel candy from a pony keg. Today, Dutch's is a one-of-a-kind beer store. The store has a garage door right on the sidewalk, that, once lifted, reveals hundreds of empty bottles. Make your selection, and the clerk dissappears into the walk-in fridge to find your beer. All pretty bizzare, but cool at the same time. We were able to find all sorts of little known breweries such as Listermann's, Wooden Shoe, and North Peak.

Why do all the trees in Ohio lean towards the west? Because Indiana sucks! (which may be my next gloryhole advertising slogan!) Well at least they used to before Three Floyds set up shop in Munster. My destination, Lawrenceburg, Indiana is home to several beer stores, most notably The Pour House Bottle Shop. While there was plenty of Bud Light to be found, there was also a generous selection of 3 Floyds, and even a growler of Great Crescent Barrel aged Stout. Total haul from Cincinnati and Southern Indiana: 60 beers and maybe a few relatives that now believe that I am not gay, not that there's anything wrong with being gay... or loving animals for that matter.

Last stop in the buckeye state was a little place with a big reputation: Jackie O's Pub. Back when I, Bim, was a young college student, I attended the number one party school in the USA, Ohio University. There was no Jackie O's back then, only shitty bars with shitty beers, and a buttload of hippies, protesting everything and anything. The hippies are still there, just a little older, but students nowadays can sample finely crafted beers like OPA (Ohio Pale Ale), Black Betty stout and Oil of Aphrodite. Brewmaster Brad Clark is cranking out some fantastic beers on a small scale. The following are reviews of those beers, and more: Black Betty (9%) is an imperial porter fermented on raspberries and aged on vanilla beans. Straight off the tap it was a smooth black wonderful beer! Oil of Aphrodite (10%) is an imperial stout brewed with walnuts and Belgian candy sugar. Sound good? It was fucking amazing! The OPA (Ohio Pale Ale 6%) was an excellent pale ale, rivaling the Alpha King from 3 Floyd's. Mystic Mama (7%) is a west coast IPA, and was smooth but not as hoppy as expected. Hogwash (5.2%) was just that. Not my style of beer, as I'm not too fond of smokey beers. Firefly Amber (5%) was a good session beer, but nothing special. And last on the list was Drawn and Portered (7%) which was smooth as silk and about as good a porter as I've ever had. While at Jackie O's, I was fortunate enough to meet a fellow beer lover, Mike, who was willing to trade me for some fine Jackie O's beers. Thank's again Mike, you made a great trip to Ohio even better! With the beers in hand we packed up the family car and headed home with our bounty. Looking forward to my next trip to the Buckeye State!

BC4M Celebrates Belgian Independence Day

There are several dates that show up on the calender as "holidays" that allow us a chance to perhaps take off from work and celebrate. Many of these dates are anniversaries of crowning moments in our Nation's history. Even though a vast number of Americans think the 4th of July is probably just an excuse to celebrate "National Bottle Rocket Day", most of you might actually take time that day to honor the birth of the United States signified by the ratification of the Declaration of Independence. Another important day in July that has frankly been forgotten is the 21st, the day the BC4M celebrates "Belgian Independence Day". When the fuck did that become a holiday you ask, and who the fuck celebrates it?  Well, Belgium actually did achieve independence as a nation on that day, but according to BC4M historian Fred, the REAL reason we celebrate is that way back in 1865 in a remote part of Belgium, Bim's great-great grandfather, a young up and coming brew master named Flarghan Acehole, a fiery Amish lad with a penchant for sowing his wild oats among buxom ladies and affable canines was found to be using an ingredient heretofore unknown to most Belgian brewers, "humulus lupulus" or more commonly called hops. As any good beer drinker knows, most Belgian beers (and YES, we actually do like some of them you Belgian beer loving snobs) have very little hop taste to them at all and many leave you with the maddening tastes of bubblegum, coriander or even stale banana. Young Flarghan, a disciple of the Pliny the Elder clan of hop heads, decided to brew a new beer and in fact created a beer that clocked in at over 200 IBU's. This "abomination" as his "Tasmanian Tonsil Tickler Ale" was called, got him hauled off to an emergency session of the secret beer tribunal known as "The Illumihoppy", who deemed him an enemy of the state. He was forced to leave the country and eventually settled in Kansas where he began a career traveling the southwest hawking his latest creation, a "miracle elixir"  that cured everything from scurvy to erectile dysfunction. To honor Bim's creative ancestor, we decided to crack open a few hop bombs to celebrate his "Belgian Independence Day". First up was a Coronado Brewing Hoppy Daze (9.0%) which was dry, crisp and citrusy, sorta like the freshly manicured meat oven sported by a Dutch streetwalker, tasty indeed but slightly boozy. A solid good to start the night, we then went on to a Evolution Brewing Rum Barrel Golden Ale (10.0%). Not to be confused with Snakes favorite Saturday night pastime, the "golden shower", this one is part of their "migration series" where they age their ale in various barrels. This booze rocket was sweet and tasted just like you were sucking on an alcohol fueled Lifesavers Butter Rum candy. "Damn this shit is tasty" said Crazy Ken, "but where are the hops, cause I don't miss them". This one was a really good, lots of rich flavors with some heat on the finish. Next was a Nebraska Brewing Hop God (10.0%). Another barrel aged beer, this one had a palate dominated from the aging it received in wine barrels and it needs some time to mellow out so it only got a good. Tommyknocker Hop Strike Black Rye IPA (7.0%) was a disaster from the start. The spiciness we expected from the rye never materialized and whatever amount of hops they added must have been minimal since we couldn't taste any. A so/so at best, we then opened a Coronado Brewing Idiot IPA (8.5%). This one doesn't pack the citrus punch of its sibling, Hoppy Daze, and it much more malty in flavor, but it would make a decent session beer, so we rated it a solid good. The next two we tried, Ruckus Brewing Hoptimus Prime (9.0%) and Left Coast Hop Juice (8.5%) were both labeled as double IPA's, but both tasted like mediocre pale ales at best, and both rated a so/so. Karl Strauss Blackball Belgian IPA (8.5%) utilizes curacao in the mix, so the added sweetness made Crazy say it tasted like " big league chew in a glass" while Wilder added, "I love it when a chick chews on my blackballs". Others enjoyed the sweet malt profile and rated it a good. On to a Port Brewing 5th Anniversary Ale (10.0%), another hopsicle that was again more malt driven than hop driven. Still, it was refreshing and would make a good pool side beer, even with the ass kicking 10 percent abv. Mikkeller Green Gold (7.0%) was then offered, and while we love many of their releases, this one misses the mark completely. A self proclaimed "American style IPA", this one was about as light in the loafers as a limp wristed manorexic pole smoker. "This shit sucks" said Bim, as Fred added, "They ought to tighten the import laws up in this country, letting this nonsense in is fucked up". So/so at best, we then moved on to another import, actually made by Mikkeller's brother,  the Evil Twin. We tried their Yin (10.0%) which was amazingly rich for a stout and their Yang (10.0%) a decent IPA, but the topper was mixing them together for a "Yin & Yang" style black and tan. Not overly thick, but boasting a rich chocolate nose, the added IPA made this an awesome combination of hops and sweetness that got a really good rating. Next we opened a Bootlegger's Brewing Knuckle Sandwich (10.0%), another west coast DIPA that did not disappoint. Not as piney or as hoppy as we are accustomed to, this one does strike an incredible balance between malts and hops that causes you to wanna guzzle it down. Another really good, we then cracked open a COAST Brewing Boy King DIPA (9.5%). A rich orange color emerged as we poured this rarity that smelled like fresh grapefruit. The smell was easily matched by the taste as it made Bim declare, "about fucking time the East coast came up with a good IPA". Another really good, we then changed directions and opened up a gift from The Drunken Polack, a collaboration between St Somewhere and Cigar City,  Vuja De (9.96%). This sour beer was in the words of Fred "outfuckinstanding", as we were seduced by its tartness. This is the beer that Marron Acidifie wants to be, and this one is easy drinking and refreshing. Another really good, it just missed out on RFG status but is decidedly close. Well past prime time now, we then tried another off course beer, the Brouwerij Boon Framboise (5.0%). "This is like drinking an ice cold raspberry toaster streudel" said Snake. Sweet and decadent with a hint of carbonation, this is a fine sipping beer for an after meal dessert. A solid good, we ended the night with a beer from one of our favorite brewers, 3 Floyd's Alpha Klaus (6.0%). This one sported the usual sweet label graphics, but the beer itself showed its age. Dark and thick, we expected more than what this bottle could offer. Apparently it does not age well as one member somehow described it as like "eating some bad focaccia bread". While not perfect, it wasn't horrible so it got a measly so/so. Hopefully the next bottle we have will be fresher, and allow us to give it a better rating. Now thoroughly drunk, we adjourned the meeting before Snake could show off his new "skateboarding" tricks he had picked up while babysitting his niece and nephew the previous weekend. Until next time....."WAKE UP AMERICA!'

BC4M sharing roadies with SCBEERGUY

Recently, when we went to Foothills Brewing to score our 20 bottles of Barrel Aged Sexual Chocolate, we got to meet a fellow craft beer brother, Chris from scbeerguy.com. We had a great time hanging out and drinking some beers and even completed a bottle trade with him while we were there. For his birthday, his lovely bride Loren took him on a weekday blitzkrieg of the Dogfish Head Brewpub in Rehoboth Beach to help celebrate International IPA day. Evidently, Chris has a huge man crush on DFH Founder Sam Caligione, as we learned that Loren spent the entire trip chasing after her hubby as he hunted down his idol like a horny bloodhound sniffing some tail. At least she got to taste a plethora of their world famous "off centered ales" and spirits for her troubles. Fred suggested that since their route home would navigate them mere miles from the World Headquarters of the BC4M, they should stop in for a drink with the founding fathers. Bim, Johnny Wilder, Florence Naughtygale and Nestle Goodbody were all on hand for their arrival with Fred rolling in a bit later after he had completed his part in judging the 3rd annual "Back dat Caboose Up" contest. We promised them only a "few" beers since they still had over 7 hours of travel time in their journey. We had a blast visiting with them and look forward to their next visit this way. Courtesy of Chris, below is his write up of the night, and believe you me, he tamed it down quite a bit as we did things that can't be mentioned in at least 6 states along with Guam. Next time the video cameras will be rolling.......

http://scbeerguy.com/post/8711984928

So as many of you have already read, I visited Dogfish Head this last #IPADay with my wife.  I also drank a bunch of 120 Minute IPA.  What you don’t know is how that trip ended.  So…here you go!

It was Saturday afternoon and we were trying to decide when to begin the long journey back to South Carolina.  Logic would tell you to get some sleep and leave early on Sunday morning.  When have you known me to be logical?  Remember the Foothill’s BA Sexual Chocolate Release?  Oh…you don’t.  Really?  Well go read it.  Seriously, don’t finish this article until you read it.  Here, I’ll make it easy.  Foothill’s Release

Much in the spirit of that trip, we decided to leave spur-of-the-moment at 4:00 PM Saturday and drive through the night.  Doesn’t sound crazy.  Lots of people do that.  What made it interesting was my plan to stop in Virginia and share ONE beer with the folks from @BeerClub4Men.  If you’ve read their blog, you know that this has potential to end badly.  From reading their stories, you know that they’re crazy and something is just not right about them.  Sounds like my kind of people.  So, we took off and rolled into VA around 9:00.  At this point, I’m more than a little nervous.  I have no idea what to expect from these crazies, except for good beer of course.

When we walked up to the house, I will say that I was thoroughly disappointed.  Not one person was wearing clown make-up.  For this to make sense, read their barleywine tasting review.  Quite to the contrary, everyone looked fairly normal.  Everyone seemed really nice.  So after the initial disappointment, we sat down to drink one beer.  I stopped on my way out of Rehoboth and picked up a growler of the Dogfish Head Black and Red.  As I mentioned in my last post, this was a very interesting beer and the room was definitely split.  And by split, I mean that more disliked it than enjoyed it.  I personally thought it was fairly good, but just a bit odd.  The mint is really strange.  Once we were finished with the Black and Red, it was time to go.  Great trip!  Can’t wait to see these guys again.  Long ride ahead, better hit the road.

Not even.  We first worked our way through 5 more bottles courtesy of BC4M.  Now this is more like it.  We started with the Nebraska Brewing Black Betty.  Very tasty.  It was a welcome change to normalcy after the B & R.  Next were two offerings from Pub Dog.  We tried the Wild Cherry Porter and the Bourbon Barrel Chocolate Oatmeal Stout.  Both were pretty good.  After the Black Betty, both seemed a little underwhelming.  Next up was my personal favorite beer of the night.  They broke open a bottle of the Williamsburg Alewerks Bourbon Barrel Porter.  After trying the Cafe Royale that they sent me a few weeks ago, this had a lot to live up to and more than held it’s own.  It is such a smooth, tasty beer.  The best part, was that they sent me home with a bottle that will no doubt get reviewed!  We finished up with a Olde Hickory Death By Hops.  This was a delicious hop bomb that was a perfect to end the night.  Now it’s time to hit the road.  Long drive and all…  Well, maybe not yet.

If you’ve read their blog, you’ve maybe heard of their bottle toss at the end of the night?  Could I pass this up when offered?  Hell no!  I was actually hoping for this.  We grabbed the empties and headed into the backyard.  The goal is to launch the bottles through a field goal post shaped branch that seemed really high and far away after the sampling.  This may not seem that great to you, but picture us out there after that beer list trying to act athletic.  Next time, there will be video.  I felt like I held my own.  It’s not likely I’ll get signed as a pro bottle thrower anytime soon though.  It is now closing in on midnight.  And we still have a 7 hour drive ahead.  Oh boy.  Thank goodness for a wife that is much more intelligent than I.  She stayed away from the beer and was able to guide us safely back to South Carolina just as the sun came up.

The stop set us back almost three hours and I would do it again in a heartbeat.  I had a blast with these folks.  It was the perfect way to finish my birthday trip.  If you haven’t read any of their blog and you aren’t easily offended, you need to check it out now.  As evidenced by the photo, they are also starting to sell BC4M paraphernalia as well!  Buy lots to support their craft beer habit!  Thanks BC4M!  We’ll be back!

Cheers!

Beer Club For Men Has Talent!

Full Moon Brewery, Manteo,NC

The BC4M is an amazingly talented group. Until recently, we only entertained each other with humorous anecdotes, a little Karaoke, and the occasional pole dance. More recently we’ve been branching out. Snake, ever the world traveler, has a whole career in India that you, our devoted readers, probably have never heard of. He is known in India as Wilber Sargunaraj and he just wrapped up an Indian ad campaign extolling the virtues of love marriage . His smoking hot Indian wife (dot not feather) is an amazing dancer as well. And speaking of wives, Fred’s better half goes by her stage name, Wing, when she travels the country wowing her hordes of admirers. Damn that woman can fucking sing! Fred, always the warm and fuzzy coach, has lovingly assisted  his bride in honing her skills. A BC4M meeting is somewhere between the Jim Rose Circus and a meeting full of Simple Jacks. A little humorous, and more than a little scary with a collection of odd characters. This meeting however, was rather tame. A themeless excuse to drink to alarming excess, and maybe breakout a few show tunes along the way. First up was the Highland Cold Mountain Winter Ale (5.8%). This beer was a session beer, that rated a so/so to good. Probably one that should have been sampled in the winter, not the summer. Flying Fish Grand Cru Winter Reserve (7.2%) was typical of the Belgian taste that, for the most part, we disdain. It was a so/so. Caldera was up next. These guys have jumped on the canned beer band wagon, following in the footsteps of Oskar Blues. The Caldera Ashland Amber (5.4%), while no Bud Light, also wasn't that good, rating a so/so. The Caldera Pale Ale (5.6%) on the other hand, was one of the better examples of this breed of beer and rated a really good. If you see this one in your local beer store, buy it, you won't be disappointed. Next up was a fruit beer, the Liefman's Fruitesse (4.2%). While there is more alcohol in a Kingsbury Brew, we all loved it, and gave it a really good. Uinta Detour Double IPA (9.5%) was a decent IPA, Not a great beer, but enough to get a good rating. We chased that with a Lakefront Brewery Rendezvous (7.2%). The label states "Pure Milwaukee genius"... WTF??? Milwaukee genius? Aren't these the folks who brought us Milwaukee's Best, Blatz, Schlitz and PBR? What are they trying to do up there, fucking kill us? This beer, like it's Milwaukee forefathers, was a so/so. We finished the night with Smuttynose Baltic Porter (9.0%). This was a pretty good beer, described as a little raw but not malty enough for our tastes. And finally I would be remiss if I didn't mention a beer that was rated by Bim, Prince and B.A.D. on a recent beach excursion.  Lhasa Beer(4.3%) from the far far east, was a beer that Prince’s father-in-law carefully shoved up his ass and smuggled back from a visit with the Dali Lama in Tibet. This beer is considered the Bud Light of Tibet, with plenty of white floating smegma to make everyone happy. No wonder the Chinese built that fucking wall to keep out the Mongolians and Tibetans!

Bim's Rogue Beer Excursion

No trip to Nags Head (OBX for the uninformed) is complete without a trip over to the island hamlet of Manteo, named after the Indian ass kicker (feather not dot) who supervised the ass-whoopin of a bunch of pasty pale-faced Limeys, and home to America's most beloved sheriff, Andy Taylor of Mayberry fame. While there, we found the newest small brewery on the OBX, Full Moon Brewery. They are a true nano-brewery as they are currently cranking out really small batches of mostly session beers (about 10 gallons at a time). On their recent beach excursion to allow Bim to participate in the annual "Swinging Dick Half Marathon", Bim and his better half Florence Naughtygale sampled the Stout, Red Ale, IPA and a Blonde. All were drinkable but none were memorable, rating so/so’s across the board. If your looking for a RFG here, it’s not gonna happen, but if you just need a cold one to wash down a burger, they certainly will suffice. While we don’t rate food, at this joint it kicked ass and didn't give anyone a case of the brown squirts, which is always a real plus.

Until next time.......Drink up bitches.!!