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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Sunday, November 25, 2012

A BC4M Intervention

While all the BC4M members love beer, one member in particular, Fred, has taken things to the extreme. Fred has more quality beers stashed around his house than most reputable beer stores have on their shelves. Need a Firestone Walker Abacus? Fred has a case. How about 6 years worth of Bourbon County stouts? Got that too. And Bruery's Black Tuesday? There as plentiful as whores in a whorehouse. Lately, the Founding Fathers expressed concern that Fred's buying and trading habits may be getting out of control. We decided to stage an intervention. Under the guise of a Bourbon County Stout vertical tasting, the founding fathers gathered at 10pm's. Once we'd all arrived, Bim appeared, dressed as Candy Finnigan. As the others sat quietly and with Fred obviously confused, Bim began... "Fred, your addiction has negatively affected me in the following ways: you have made me feel inferior with your superior beer collection. With my confidence shattered, I am now getting humped by my dog on a regular basis. If you don't stop hoarding beers, I will no longer be a clown for you. You need to accept this gift we are offering you." "Fuck you!" snarled Fred. Next up was Johnny. "Fred, your beer hoarding has negatively affected me in the following ways: Well, it really hasn't hurt me at all. Keep up the strong work buddy!" As we got to 10pm, he pulled out his written speech. "Fred, your crazy behavior has negatively affected me as well. The constant pet molestation, running through the neighborhood naked and masturbating in the mailboxes has got to stop. Yesterday I caught you defecating on my lawn. You are terrorizing all the neighbors and we wont take it anymore.The clown makeup was humorous initially, now it's just downright disturbing." Fred looked astonished. "What the hell are you talking about?" A sheepish 10pm replied, "Oops, wrong speech. That one's for Bim's intervention next week." Now it was Snake's turn. "I don't know what the fuck you assholes are even talking about... I'm dry as toast. Let's drink!" And that we did, starting with a 2006 Goose Island Bourbon County Brand stout right on through 2012. Then it was off to a 2011 Bourbon County Coffee and a 2011 Bourbon County Stout Bramble Rye Barrel. While each year had some specific nuances, they all held up well. The 2006, while a paltry 11% ABV,  was smooth as silk, almost syrupy. 2007 (13%) was more carbonated and lighter. 2008 was more reminiscent of 2006, heavier and sweeter. 2009 was a tad flat, but still awesome. 2010 was the best yet, boozy, rich and smooth. 2011, while still an RFG, was the highest yet in alcohol at 14.5%, and should definitely improve with age. With the vertical complete, we changed gears and tasted a 2010 Bourbon County Coffee Stout, a 2011 Bourbon County Bramble Rye, and a 2010 Vanilla all of which are still RFG's. And to finish the night, we ended with a 2010 Bourbon County Rare. After his first sip, Snake exclaimed, "I just busted a nut in my pants! Damn this is good!" Time will tell how Goose Island does under the direction of Annheiser Busch. With the intervention over and the only thing accomplished being lessening Fred's cellar by 11 beers, we headed home as we had a 6AM wake-up call for a trip to Hardywood Park Brewery in Richmond for their release of the Gingerbread Stout. Stay tuned for more on that. Cheers!

3 comments:

Dr. Gunthumper said...

Do you know what would be great? I'll tell you. It would be great if whoever wrote this would learn the difference between there, their, and they're. Then maybe you won't sound so mentally challenged, though we all will know that you still are.

Anonymous said...

Cunthumper is a dick. Who are you? That bald douche teacher from "Back to the Future" that called everyone a slacker. They are chatting about Bourbon County stout and you worry about English class? Go back to Ghent...douche

Anonymous said...

I believe his name is "GUNThumper" not "CUNThumper", although to be honest...to most guys it all feels the same