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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Tsunami Night

Johnny decided to go with island beers, or exotics that lie within reach of a tidal wave or other natural disaster. Unfortunately, these areas are not known for their beers, so this held out the promise to be a real punisher! First up was San Miguel
This is a pretty boring, very light lager. It rated a so/so. Next up was Chang (5.0%), from Thailand. The comments speak for themselves: "Insignificant, benign, colored carbonated water"; "the Bud Light of Thailand"; and "This is not what Thailand is known for". It SUCKS. Carib Lager (4.8%), was next. It smelled bad, and is "best served with the bloated colon of a roadkill racoon". It also sucked. Kingfisher Premium Lager (4.8%) was next. I believe this swill is from India. It had a distinct lemon Pledge scent, and a taste to match. It sucked. Abita Turbo Dog (5.6%) was next. Cool name, brewed in Louisiana, home of Katrina. We had high hopes, but were disappointed. It had good color, but very little taste, rating a so/so. Sapporo Reserve (5.2%) was next. We've had other Sapporos in the past, and this one is typical. Pretty good, clean lager, and a perfect beer to cleanse the palates. It rated a good. Kona Firerock Pale Ale (5.8%) was next. It was hoppy, good color and taste, but this "Hawaian" beer is brewed in New Hampshire... WTF? It still managed to get a good. Famosa Lager (5.0%), from Guatemala advertises that they are "famous since 1886". Famous for what, no one knows. Peeling paint off cars, or possibly covering up the odors of decaying trash. This beer smelled like a sweaty Guatemalan migrant worker after a hot day in the rasberry fields. In fact, it was suggested that the brewery may have used that same worker's bathwater to brew this stuff. Kirin Ichiban (5.0%) was next. A crsip clean lager, would be great after a hot day working in the yard. This was a big night with lots of beers. Next up was Xingu (4.7%) from Brazil. This beer has a great dark color and great taste. It rated a good. Dogfish Head Sah Tea (9.0%) was next. This is some weird brew that the Dogfish Head folks decided to try, but was not well liked by the BC4M. The label rocked, with a picture of some Indian chick riding a big mule deer, something that one might see during a peyote hallucination, but the beer itself SUCKED. Tasted like medicine. 9 bucks down the crapper. Snake had to lick his own ass to get the taste of this shit out of his mouth. Fred described it as "ass in a glass". Lion Stout (9.0%), from Sri Lanka was next. For some reason there's a picture of some random white guy named Michael Jackson, the "Beer Hunter" on the back. That did not help this beer at all, and it rated a so/so. "33" Export (4.5%) from Vietnam (brewed in Ho Chi Min City) was next. It is a cereal beer, and tasted like a box of cereal. Cho Ngyuen gave it an RFG, but everyone else thought it was a so/so (and no, we don't really have a member named Cho Ngyuen). Plus, they stole the 33 from Rolling Rock. Then came another Hawaii beer via New Hampshire, Kona's Pipeline Porter (5.3%) (so/so), and we capped the night off with Sierra Nevada Pale Ale (5.6%). It was very mediocre, and rated only a so/so. Another successful BC4M!