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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Monday, July 22, 2013

Straight Outta Charleston




Recently, a firestorm of controversy erupted over a word that Food Network's Paula Deen uttered many years ago. I know you all have your opinions and maybe even some outrage about what transpired, but we at BC4M are the ones that probably need to take the blame for her indiscretion. You see, back then, Fred, Bim and J Wilder all lived in the quintessential southern town of Charleston, SC, living the craft beer dream in its infancy. It was a time when a Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat was as sought after as Heady Topper is today. To make money to buy a "make your own six pack" that the local Publix supermarket offered, we often played bar mitzvah's, weddings and bachelorette parties as the rap/dance group known as "C.W.A." It was one sultry August weekend that we were hired to be the live entertainment for an evening "soiree" that Paula hosted for a bunch of ladies who were anxious to throw down and get "jiggy" with it. Maybe it was too much plantation punch or maybe it was just the wet your blouse humidity, but that night, as we as we debuted our east coast reply to west coast gangstas N.W.A.'s "Straight Outta Compton", them bitches got up and made us blush like school boys. Paula was busting a move all over the floor, and it was then that she uttered her now infamous slur. She meant nothing by it, it was just her going with the flow of the evening, mainly due to our pantie throwing inducing stage show. It sucks that such a kind hearted gal got the cold hard shaft of liberal bias shoved up her backside, but we still dig her cooking. As an ode to her, we present to you the lyrics to our one time hit....hope you enjoy bitches...
                           
"Straight Outta Charleston"

Your about the witness the strength of beer knowledge

(VERSE ONE FRED FLINTSTONE)

Straight outta Charleston, crazy motherfucka named Flintstone
From the group called Cracka's with Attitude
When I'm logged on, I get my trades on
Pull the trigger and boxes are hauled off
You too playa, if ya trading wit me
Local beer stores wanna try and stop me
Fedex, that's how I am shipping out
To dope ass traders if they got the clout
Trader's get to yappin, lets get this crackin
Mixin and matchin I am the King of packin
Bottles going out wrapped in plastic
Anxious to get them, bitches be spastic
I'm always down for a 12 bottle trade move
Here's a little tip to teach a lesson
I'm the pimp of tradin, I aint messin
Beer Advocate is the tool
Keep taking punk ass noobs to school
Making them deals, ain't no maybes
Sending out shipping boxes daily
Fedex bill is costing me dearly
Until motherfuckers realize that clearly
BC4M is driving this bus
Punks, you cant fuck with us
So when I'm in your beer store you better duck
Cause Fred Flintstone is raining them bucks
As I leave believe I'm grabbing
Every fucking whale that you be stashing
I'm coming straight outta Charleston

Yo Bim, whassup, 
Tell em where you from

(VERSE 2  DR. BIM)

Straight outta Charleston, another crazy ass clown
Looking for mutts all across town
I'm a crazy motherfucka but you knew that
Pimpin your hood wearing my top hat
But I don't give a fuck, I'm ma make my rounds
I'm picking out canines from any old pound
Just like stealing the definition is jackin
And when I mount you dog, its called packin
All it takes is a couple of minutes
I find your dog unleashed, I get up on it
So if your outta town or not home
Imma make a house call on your ho
She'll probably run away like a dog is supposed to
But I'll just follow, I am not opposed to
Chasing a bitch down the street
Morality fuck! I don't give a shit
Dr Bim controls the antibiotic
For any rabid dog, that causes static
Telling your dog to not lick itself
Everytime I grab a milkbone off the shelf
The penalty is maximum, that's the law
But I don't give a fuck, like you just saw
See cuz I am an animal loving villain
After I'm done, I need some penicillin
To take away the doggy flu
And once she's on the menu, her ass is through
Look you might think I'm being flip
But a clown named Bim ain't putting in just the tip
Straight outta Charleston


Johnny is his name and he's coming...

(VERSE 3 Johnny Wilder)

Straight outta Charleston
is a brother that will smother ya sofa
when I end up staying ova
Drinking all night raising hell
Always the last one to leave without fail
See, I don't wanna stop, I got a problem
Find any open bottles, I don't dodge them
Cuz I'm smooth, sit back, and sip awhile
And when I see something barrel aged, I just smile
To me its kinda funny, watching bitches be drivin
All over creation, sometimes even flyin
Looking for the one they call Johnny
Blowing up my phone while they text me
Dangerous!, on my skateboard after dark
Rollin in my hood, ain't no hesitation
I'll even take a piss on your pretty impatiens
Expense report my tab then I'm jettin
Plastering BC4M stickers so you ain't forgettin
So what about the time I passed out, fuck that!
You think I care about spilling beer on your carpet, I ain't no punk ass
This is the autobiography of the J and when you bitches be ready to play
You'll be drinking with a smooth talking rapper, blowin up your pristine crapper
Word to the motherfucka, 
Straight outta Charleston










3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Awww, my little crazy ass crackers from Carolina! I miss you bringing the rhymes and the sick craft beers to my hootenannies! Excuse me for using the N word again, but you nugget headed ninjas are non-stop neo-nazi nut sucking fun!
Paula Deen

Anonymous said...

Who knew you were so self-aware?? True rap, you playa ass bitches!

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