It started as any normal day. Bim, who runs the web site Deathwatch.com, was scanning celebrity obituaries to see who croaked that day. Bim has an entire office wallpapered floor to ceiling with names of celebrities and politicians, and his site hosts an elaborate gambling scheme where people bet on who will die next. It was a big day for some luck bettor. Margaret Thatcher and Roger Ebert had been circling the drain for years, but Mouseketeer Annette Funicello had died unexpectedly, and somebody just hit the jackpot. Bim received a panicked phone call from Fred, "They've really done it now! I can't believe it, but someone has stolen my identity!" "Whoa now big boy", said Bim, "what's going on?"According to Fred, a feature length film had been made, documenting his beer trading escapades. "They know about everything", he said, "they know about the cellar, they know my drinking habits, my trading partners, even my beeradvocate.com trading name...EVERYTHING!" Did we have a spy in our club? Was the envy of having the club's number 2 cellar too much for Johnny Wilder to handle? Was it 10pm or Snake, trying to increase their own self worth by bringing down the trading king? Or maybe it was just sheer jealousy on the part of Crazy Ken, who has no trading partners, no beer fridge, and no cellar? The mystery was deepening with no suspect. But one thing was clear, whoever produced this beautifully shot film, complete with all the latest computer generated special effects and Spielberg-like directing was no rookie. They had done their research, and spent a small fortune to produce a masterpiece. We may never know who the culprit was, but, like it or not, this film, "The Unauthorized Biography of Fred Flintstone" is sure to be a classic for generations to come. So sit back, grab some popcorn, maybe a fresh IPA, and enjoy the show...
"The Unauthorized Biography of Fred Flintstone"
