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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Thursday, March 22, 2012

DC Invasion

It just so happens that our resident molester, Bim, and his lovely bride Florence, had a chance to spend a recent weekend in our nations capital, Washington DC. Dr. Bim was presenting a very important paper, regarding a study that he had just completed. After completing the business at hand, Bim put on his party clothes and headed out to sample the beer bars. The following is his firsthand account:  "Living in the Beermuda Triangle, if you have a hankering for American craft beers, good beer bars are far and few between. On our trip to DC, the first stop was an east coast legend, Church Key. This place exceeds the hype. While the space was tight, the beer selection was awesome. They have a whole rap regarding the temperatures, storage, etc etc. I cut the guy off, explaining, "I don't give a fuck. Bring me an IPA before I go all clown on your ass". Want a 5 year old Raison de Extra? For a mere $24 it can be yours. Plus, if you're lame enough to fork over $300 they have some Belgian shit that our bartender swore was really old. Don't give a shit... it still probably sucks. We started with the a Maine Beer Company Peeper (5.5%). This IPA could be the east coast version of Double Jack. Smooth, floral, goodness. Next up was Daisycutter IPA (5.2%) from Half Acre. This was another great IPA, better than the first. Then it was on to a local brewer, DC Brau. They have a seasonal IPA, On the Wings of Armageddon (9.2%). Believe it or not, it was better than the first two. With our first stop completed, we headed over to Capital City Brewing. This place can best be described as a Gordon Biersch Lite. Their beers (Pale Rider Ale and Amber Waves Ale) were forgettable session beers, with the exception of the Olde English Ale (10.5%). This shit was a potent ass kicker that made up in alcohol what it lacked in taste. However, the bartender was a pitiful piece of shit, prompting me to leave him a special gift, a Virginia Upper Decker prior to our departure. Let's hope that he gets as mad as Hitler was when he discovered his surprise! The following night we started at another Dupont Circle beer bar, the Bier Baron. The place looked like a dungeon, but the beer selection rocked. First up was Great Lakes The Dopplebock (7.8%). Not the best from these guys, but not bad. Next we tried the  21st Amendment Lower da Boom Barleywine (10.5%) which was a little light for the style, but still pretty nice. After a few beers we headed back to the Chinatown area. By the time we got there, we were dry as toast. not as dry as Johnny Wilder, after his infamous cinnamon challenge, but dry, nonetheless. We arrived at RFD (Regional Food Direct) and found that the food was neither regional nor direct. The beer list, however, was good. Where else, besides our local non-American craft beer joint, the Birch, can I pay $18 for a bottle of Bitter Valentine? It was a deal! Then off to the Iron Horse, a biker bar for pussies who've never touched a Harley. The bartender, Sam, was friendly and knowledgeable, and served up some sweet beers. Nothing we haven't had before, but a nice selection nonetheless. On our last night, it was back to Dupont Circle, to Pizza Paradiso, a pizza joint with a great beer selection. Bartender Daryl, was probably the coolest guy we met in DC. This dude knows his beer and hooked us up with a Mikkeller's 19 (6.8%), which as a very nice IPA followed by DFH 120 minute IPA on draft. Whoopeee! With that, it was back to the hotel, and more important lectures in the morning...Want to get hammered on good beer in DC? Send me a tweet and I will hook you up! If you end up getting too drunk, you can always spend the night with these assholes!"