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We are still alive!!! Despite a prolonged absence, we are alive and well. It takes a lot of work to keep our fans entertained, and to be honest, we are the laziest fuckers you will ever meet. That, and the fact that we have 3 members who are retarded and only 2 who are functionally literate, and you can see how this is such a chore. We are basically no smarter than a hoard of howler monkeys

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Celebrating 50,000 blog hits w/The Drunken Polack

When BC4M founding father Bim came up with an idea in early 2010 to create a blog about our beer exploits, fellow founding fathers Johnny Wilder and Fred along with Bim's wife Florence Naughtygale heartily scoffed at the thought. "Who in the hell would waste their time reading an amateur beer blog" said Florence, "especially one written by you nitwits" she sarcastically added. Fred and Wilder thought it was an interesting idea but figured Bim would quickly tire with the hassle of maintaining a website since it would take him away from his first love, animal husbandry. Incredibly, as if a light from beyond had suddenly illuminated their darkened souls, Bim's initial postings were feasted on by  anonymous internet groupies that craved humorous beer anecdotes like a homeless bum stripping a half dozen carnival turkey legs to the bone. Before we knew it, we had blog followers and our web traffic counter began to take off like the national debt. One night in fact, a sassy and by then slightly tipsy Florence had promised a full-on mouth hug to our suddenly eager "Shakespearean" wordsmith if the "blog" was ever to reach 500 hits (a number so large that it seemed more likely for D-Rail to successfully motorboat Lady Gaga than for us to achieve) . With that reward planted freshly in his mind, Bim began to crank out concise yet charmingly vulgar reviews of our meetings. In fact, it was his first ever post and its hilarious Japanese-English translation that got Fred's creative and big sweater puppies loving spirit in motion and spurred him on to start writing for the blog. Before we knew it we had reached 500 hits and it was only April. An excited Bim eagerly spread the news to the BC4M that we had reached the magical "blowjob" number, and then spent the entire month desperately trying to redeem his hummer coupon. After one memorable night of heavy drinking, a stumbling Bim went to bed expecting to unleash the hounds on his bride, but the sight of a passed out Florence caused him to explode in rage and perform the "Angry Schneiderman" maneuver that not only resulted in a few nights on the downstairs couch, but also a trip to the ER after she awoke to the mess and grabbed hold of his junk giving him the "angry pinnochio" as payback. Barely over a year later we found ourselves looking at over 50,000 blog hits, and deemed it time to celebrate in typical over the top BC4M style. Since we were full of piss and vinegar about reaching such a big milestone, we figured it was prime time to crack open some of our rare selections from Fred's beer fridge, including The Bruery's coveted Chocolate Rain. To help share in the festivities, we invited over a fellow local blogger, a one man craft beer wrecking crew named The Drunken Polack who has tasted upwards of a thousand beers by himself. He had mentioned to Fred about wanting to try the Chocolate Rain, so we were thrilled when he accepted our invitation and arrived with a few rarities from his vast beer cellar. Fred, Snake Bim and Wilder and TDP gathered around the bubbling cauldron of cheese dip and the slices of sausage that Fred's better half Nestle Goodbody had prepared and began to dive into the selections for the evening. First up was The Bruery Old Richland (9.0%), a "hoppy American style barleywine" according to the bottle. From their Provision series, this one was very spicy, almost peppery with a back end that was piney and resinous from the hops. A unique taste all its own, it didn't have the sweet backbone of the typical barleywine but it was still damn good. Next was one from TDP's cellar,  a The Bruery Barrel Aged Autumn Maple (10.0%). The regular version of this beer tasted like a liquified bottle of candied yams and wasn't very appealing. Evidently, they changed the recipe up some as this one is completely different and had a slightly tart undertone. Just a subtle hint of sweet potato shined through, but the star of this bottle was its pleasantly sour finish, rating a really good. The Bruery Cuadruple (10.0%) was opened next, a dark Belgian style ale that is brewed with agave. The agave sugar really comes through at the end, as the beer is fairly pedestrian until the alcohol explosion at the end warms you up. We gave this one a really good as well, so we continued with a The Bruery Sour in the Rye (8.7%). The bottle on this claims its "not a phony" and it definitely doesn't disappoint. Sweet, sour, and peppery rye notes all come alive in this decadent vixen that we all agreed was really good. The night was young, the beers were amazing, so we continued with The Bruery Coton (14.5%). Amazingly enough, The Bruery just celebrated their 3rd anniversary in May, and this one is their 2nd anniversary beer. In fact, while in San Diego this past April, Fred had the opportunity to spend an entire afternoon sharing drinks with Bruery founder Patrick Rue.  It is amazing how good most of their beers are when they have only been at it for such a short time. Coton is a bourbony blend of flavors that somehow manages to have your tongue capturing essences of vanilla, prunes, oak and toffee. Complex doesn't being to describe how rich this beer is and it also got a really good. We moved on to The Bruery Marron Acidifie (8.5%), a sour collaboration beer they did with another of our favorite breweries, Cigar City. Sour from the moment it hits your mouth, this one has a very slight sweetness from the fruits added to it that takes the edge off the tongue curling pucker from the lactic kick at the beginning. Another really good, this had turned out to be the greatest night in BC4M history in terms of beer grades. We then got to try another TDP beer, The Bruery White Oak (11.5%). Described as 50% of their Mischief ale and 50% of their wheatwine White Oak Sap aged in bourbon barrels, this was the surprise of the night for everyone. Imagine being told you were gonna taste something that combined caramel, coconut and vanilla. Sounds a bit odd at first, but this was a flavor explosion that expertly balanced all three flavors at various points of each sip. "I ain't gonna lie, I love this shit" said Wilder, as we all agreed, this was an easy RFG. We moved on to The Bruery Melange #1 (9.5%), a mixture of their sour Oude Tart and dark and rich Black Tuesday. Another unique mixture, it had hints of cherries and dark fruits with a sour base that has bits of the dark roasted humongous stout in the background. "Fuck, that is fucking good as fuck" said Fred, as we had again found an RFG. We then pulled out another TDP gift, a Cigar City/Mikkeller collaboration Niehls Bohrium (10.0%). A newly released masterpiece that mixed Dirac and Bohr Imperial Sweet Stout, it is a dark beer brewed with raisins and cinnamon and aged in rum barrels. Dark, rich and sultry, this was a beer to chew on and tasted like it could fortify you with a 100% daily supply of vitamins and minerals. Yet another RFG had been added to the list, so we decided it was time to finally open the beer that we had all been anxiously awaiting, The Bruery Chocolate Rain (18%). Most beers simply don't live up to the hype but this one exceeded it without exception. Not as dark as its little brother, Black Tuesday, it is as smooth as a freshly waxed ebony vajizzle dipped in milk chocolate. Hot chocolate and vanilla with a mellow bourbon kick, its hard to put into words how fantastic this beer is. The only appropriate way to drink this is by sipping small amounts and letting your tongue go on a magical journey to taste sensations it has never been to. Before we knew it, the bottle was empty and we all realized just how superior this beer is to all others we have had. Fred declared, "Boys, what got here is a REALLY REALLY FUCKING GOOD", cause RFG just ain't gonna cut it. Easily the best beer we have ever had, we jokingly created the RRFG category to bestow an honor symbolic of how fucking good this actually is. We had two more beers to try and we knew that they would probably be after thoughts but we plunged ahead anyway. We opened up the 3rd anniversary beer from The Bruery Cuir (14.5%) which was a hodpodge of flavors that tended to be a little raw from the heat of the alcohol. This one needs to age just a little, and we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of the Barrel Aged version we ordered from The Bruery Reserve Society. This one only rated a good so we decided to end the night by drinking one final gift from TDP, A Cigar City Humidor Series Jai Alai IPA (7.5%). Aged on cedar, this is a delicious twist on the popular IPA style that the BC4M loves. The hoppy front takes a back seat to the cedar finish and had it not been a night of big booze bombers, we might have rated this higher than the really good it received. We decided to end the night there, having never had so many great beers at one sitting. We got TDP a cab ride home, hoping he didn't end up either on the back of a milk carton or starring in midget porn on late night cable. An amazing evening was done, and as the BC4M stumbled home, Wilder's boombox serenaded the quiet hood with an ode to our newest favorite beer........Chocolate Rain...


Find My Tap said...

"Really really fucking good" is probably the best review a beer can get. Congrats on 50,000!

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