All good things eventually come to an end, and the BC4M is no exception. From the start, we have endured scorching criticism from feminist groups, animal rights activists, and pinko commie environmentalists. "You guys are chauvinist fucking pigs!"; "You dog fuckers serve no useful purpose"; "You're breathing air that we could better use", these and a million other hurtful remarks were hurled our way from various sources. In the words of immortal cocksman Doc Holiday, "the pressure was more than we could bear". It all started with a million women march in the BC4M hometown of Chesapeake, VA, demanding that we accept women into our ranks. This was quickly followed by a sexual discrimination suit that was filed when Johnny Wilder refused to serve a woman a tasting glass of beer at a meeting. "Ain't no hoochie getting up on my Sexual Chocolate" he declared. Thankfully, the case was settled out of court, but since the woman in question used the biggest ambulance chaser in Hampton Roads, the damage was already done. In March 2012, a federal judge ruled that, as a public club, we were being sexist pigs, and that we must begin accepting women members. Upon hearing the verdict, the reactions were varied. Snake snarled at the judge and said that he would rather "cut off and eat his own penis" before allowing women into the BC4M. We all agreed that this was a really odd remark, but Snake is no wordsmith. 10pm, always the conversationalist as well as being the resident John Birch Society spokesman, responded, "Nope, I don't like it". Johnny Wilder totally misunderstood the verdict, remarking that he was "happy to be a sexy pig". Fred too was initially overjoyed. "Does this mean I get to look at boobies?" Bim ran off to start his own beer club consisting of farmhouse ales for farmhouse animals.
We refuse to be the Beer Club For People. We are men, dammit, hear us roar! And get us a beer and a sandwich while you're at it. Something good, with bacon on it. We hope we've kept you entertained over the past 3 years with our crazy shenanigans. We have enjoyed it immensely. Many of you "haters" will no doubt be celebrating our demise. For those of you who feel that we have caved in, start your own fucking club!
41 comments:
Oh Nooooooo!!!! Say it aint so!
BC4M is calling it quits??? Who will tell me which beers taste like baby vomit and which ones are pure gasoline?
So sorry to hear that you are ending the Beer Club for Men. As a woman, I always found your commentary to be very funny, offensive, unique, offensive, raw, offensive, original, and offensive. We will miss your offbeat humor and assistance to us fellow beer lovers.
Sara H.
I just masturbated (again) to that clip of Helen Reddy. Is that wrong?
JC
As an associate member of the beer club for men, this update hits close to home. Although this makes my heart heavy, it's the right move. You don't want to taint your fine club with inferior intellect, because everyone knows women have brains the size of a squirrel brain. As for Bim, good luck sir, but I've had your attempt at home brew. Please do the world a favor and don't make any more. To all the haters, you can eat a dick.
You said "taint"! Ha ha ha!
NEWS FLASH: President Obama states that "the Beer Club For Men should accept women into their membership" . BC4M replies, "No way Jose". More at 11
So sad. We will miss you. Bim, I guess you'll have more time to enhance your dueling skills now. Just don't let the 'angry hand' take over! Salute BC4M!
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