Memorial Day Doubleheader

What is more quintessentially American on Memorial Day than apple pie, grilling out and a baseball doubleheader? Since we didn't have a pair of baseball games to attend, the BC4M decided to instead have a day-night beer tasting doubleheader. It was around 4 in the afternoon when Fred received a frantic text from Bim that exclaimed, "Get your ass over to Wilder's, we're drinkin". Hoping to get an official tasting in, Fred happily obliged and brought over some new beers he scored from the Craft Beer Outlet on a recent trip to Philly. While our better halves and kids frolicked in Johnny's Playboy mansion sized pool, the lads (Bim, J. Wilder, Fred and Snake) sojourned to the poolside cabana for some new taste experiences under a gorgeously cloudless day. Johnny brought out several new beers to go along with the new treats brought back from the cheesesteak capital of the world. First up was Evolution Exile ESB (5.8%), a Delaware microbrew that was decent and easy to drink but nothing special. Imagine if you will putting some Natty Light in a craft beer bottle and you would have some of this stuff. Sam Adams Pale Ale (5.25%) was next and let me tell you, Sammy should be drawn and quartered for putting this garbage out to the market. This is as much a pale ale as diet freaking sprite is. Hop free and flavor free, this was so-so at best and probably deserved a sucks. The next four beers all came from Old Dominion Brewing, (a little research shows that this outfit is 49% owned by Budweiser, WTF?) the Hop Mountain Pale Ale (5.6%) which was so-so (hop mountain must actually be the compost heap at the brewery, cause this sure as hell ain't hoppy at all), the Dominion Lager (5.6%) which was crisp, tightly balanced and decent, the Dominion Ale (4.7%) was utterly forgettable, and finally the newly created Beach House Golden Pilsner (5.2%) featured a Swiss family Robinson style beachside bungalow that looked as if Jimmy Buffet himself shacked up in it. This beer was perfect for a beach party and was light enough to drink all day and night. We moved on to another new seasonal, this time the Sam Adams Latitude 48 Pale Ale (5.8%). Brewed with hops from Germany, England and the U.S. that are all found on the 48th latitude, this is a refreshing, hoppy and satisfying beer. This is a great beer, one to enjoy while polishing off a few dozen oysters or perhaps with a nice brat or medium rare steak. Lion Brewery's Lionshead Lager (4.5%) which said "deluxe pilsner" on the bottle was a superb session beer. J. Wilder exclaimed, "I would sure as fuck drink a six kicker of this over Bud Light any day!" Next was another beer from Evolution Brewing, Lucky 7 Porter (5.8%), using 7 different malts, this was a chocolate and coffee flavored maltshake that was quite tasty. The opening round in our doubleheader then headed to extra innings as we found another couple of beers to try. While Fred scarfed down Bim's pistachios as fast as Takeru Kobayashi can wolf down 50 Nathans hot dogs, we opened a Blue Mountain Brewery Full Nelson (5.9%). This is made nearby in the hill country of Afton, Va, yet it tasted like it was instead made in the Proctor & Gamble plant while they were mixing up a batch of Purex laundry soap so it rated a sucks. The final beer of the afternoon was Capitol Square Imperial Doppelbock (6.0%). This beer was thin but very drinkable, and surprisingly light in color. We all wondered if this would be better classified as a bock, but it was tasty nonetheless and it rated a good. We then ended the first session and went to get ready for the offerings from the award winning grill master himself, Bim. He told us he had meticulously seasoned and marinated a 47lb tri-tip roast and was ready to serve the gluttonous horde of carnivores that were to arrive at his backyard patio.

While we awaited the dinner bell to ring, Fred received another text, this time from Frank the Tank that said he wanted to bring a few "beeahs" over to the cookout. Tank had somehow convinced his hometown cousins Carmine the Guinea and Vinnie Knuckles to allow him to "export" some of New Jersey's craft brews to his Dixie brethren in the BC4M. After paying a "shake down" fee to the goombah longshoremen crew that handles the "import/exports", Tank got to bring back a few beers (in the front seat of a 1972 candy apple red Ford Torino nonetheless) from the Flying Fish Brewing Company. Coupled with some more of the stash that Fred had assembled from the City of Brotherly love we convened in "da boardroom" (otherwise known as the kitchen) at Don Capo di Bim's (or as we refer to him, The Bimfather) for another round of tasting. First up was Exit 4 American Trippel (9.5%) which while tasting as smooth as a classic Frank Sinatra tune was thin in the body yet also sweet and tasty so it rated a good. Next was a Flying Fish Belgian Style Dubbel (7.3%) that was as thin as one of the "dancers" at the Bada Bing but still decent. We then moved to a Flying Fish ESB Amber Ale (5.5%) which was about as non descript as a beer can be. This stuff had no heart and no flavor, so it got a so-so. After downing the last of the Jersey beer with a hearty salude! we opened a bottle of Smuttynose IPA (6.9%). The KrazyItalianIrish girl had once opined that perhaps the label boasted a future likeness of the BC4M when they got a little more seasoned (i.e. old as fuck). Upon closer inspection, it does in fact look like Wilder and Fred as old timers, so thanks for the heads up little lady as our future selves look like dried up and crusty cornback bull vipers. The beer itself was very dry and not refreshing, and in the famous words of Snake, "I am dry as toast over here". Drinking one of these was like drinking a bottle of Sahara desert sand, as it left us dehydrated and in need of intravenous fluids. Thankfully, before Bim could get out his 12 gauge needles, we popped the cap off of a few beers from a newcomer to the waterfront in Philly, Yards Brewing Company. We started off with Yards Brewing Co. IPA (7.0%) which was excellent in taste but was not an IPA by any means. This should be classified as a pale ale, since it isn't hoppy at all, but it is still quite good. We then poured a Yards Brewing Co. Thomas Jefferson Tavern Ale (8.0%) which was said to have been brewed with "authentic ingredients". Evidently, what they meant by that is the malt is over 200 years old, and this swill tasted like it was brewed with some of Sally Hemming's bed sweat. Next was Yards Brewing Co. Brawler (4.2%). A "pugilist" style ale featuring a label that had Bill the Butcher from Gangs of New York putting the gunt butter to the Devil himself, this beer was very good and although it only packed a 4.2% kick, it would make an ideal beer for an all nighter . Only two beers remained, so we pulled out an Ommegang BPA (Belgian Pale Ale 6.2%), that tasted like it was made with about 6 tons of candy sugar cause this was sweeter than famous New York lavender suspender wearing mobster Tony "Stilleto Heels" Malvoroni. This rated a so-so since it made us all need an insulin injection to overcome the sweetness, although Fred is generally so grumpy, he should probably drink this stuff by the case. The final beer of the evening was another sour ale from our new friends at Russian River Brewing, Consecration (10.0%). This is an ale aged in cabernet sauvignon barrels with currants added for good measure. Once again, Bim said "not my cup of tea", while Tank's facial expression said something along the lines of "that shit is sour as fuck!" Only Johnny Wilder and Fred liked the taste but once you get over the fact that you just drank a bottle of sour patch kids, you realize its actually quite good. Like the tasting of Supplication on an earlier night, the mixed reviews prevailed and this got a so-so. With that, the games were over, and we trudged home with a spring in our steps knowing that we had preserved that great American doubleheader tradition of grilling and drinking.