Stouts, Stouts and more Stouts...

It was Tuesday night, and Johnny requested a meeting of the founding fathers. Thinking that he probably had some surprise Dogfish Head goodies for us, we eagerly obliged! We were disappointed to find that, not only did he have no surprises, but of 6 of the beers Bim brought, we'd already tasted 4 of them (Bim is sometimes feeble-minded). We started with the Highland Brewing Co.'s Black Mocha Stout (5.3%). This was a good Carolina stout, rich and malty. We chased it with a Blowing Rock Bock Lager, which was smooth, sweet, and also rated a good.The night was off to a great start. We next uncapped a Bell's Kalamazoo Stout (6%). This bottle rocks! There's a cool picture of a guy that I believe is Carl from the movie Slingblade ("Them are some good biscuits, Grrr..."). However, if old Carl had tasted this beer, he'd not only have split Doyle's skull, but also the ass clown who brewed this shit. It has brewer's licorice added (see: brewers turds). It is a very bad beer, and we were very kind to give it just a so/so. Sticking with Bell's, we tried their Java Stout (7.5%). Way to much coffee flavor, not enough beer, but at least no brewers licorice! We completed the Bell's menage a' poo-poo with a Special Double Cream Stout (6.1%). This one advertises 10 types of malts (and a generous helping of brewers spooge), and rated a so/so. Another offering from Blowing Rock, High Country Ale (brewed in the mountains of Boone, NC) was decent and made us long for another night in Popcorn Sutton's old stomping grounds. We closed the night with a North Coast Old Rasputin Imperial Stout (9.0%) This would have been a good match for Guinness, but since it was advertised as a Russian Imperial, we were expecting more. It was way too watery, and rated only a so/so. We closed the special meeting and wandered home, visions of the upcoming 500 in our dreams.