Let it Snow.....

It was Christmas weekend in the hood, and Old Man Winter had decided to drop over 15 or so inches (and no, that puny little thing in your man hammock sure as fuck ain't 15 inches) of delightful havoc causing snow on our quaint little hamlet. Johnny Wilder had sent out a request for all hands to assemble at his place for a night of beer, "parlor games" and a few rounds of "Wii tennis" with our better halves. Bim arrived in his classic Bad Horny Santa outfit hoping to trick the ladies into once again sitting on his lap and seeing if they could find anything sturdy to latch on to. What better way to prepare for the upcoming weeklong escapade of commuting to work on slick as snot ice covered roads shared with the myriad of retards that grace our area but to drink a few new beers. While the ladies went into the living room to discuss how to get their own copy of the "supposedly" inappropriate video game that one of the new neighbors had received, we got the meeting started with a new brew from our local OBX brewery, a Weeping Radish Christmas Bier Doppelbock (8.1%). Wilder proclaimed it was damn good as he had recently tasted it fresh on tap at the brewpub while returning from a road trip down highway 158 to pick up his latest "dance attire". The beer poured a tad watery for a doppelbock but it was easily one of their better beers (which sure as fuck isn't saying a whole lot). While most of the group liked it despite the fact that it wasn't as sweet or strong as say Celebrator, it still tasted decent so it rated a good. The only holdout was the always acerbic Fred who blurted "Ehh, maybe a so-so at best, these guys need to close up shop and try a new line of work like turd herding cause they know an assload about brewing shitty beer". Next was a Widmer Brothers Reserve Brrrbon (9.4%). Pouring like a frozen shot of maple syrup, this one was in the words of Big Audio Dynamite, "Like a stick on the back of your tongue, this beast just won't go down easy". "Sorta like that crazy redneck chick D-Rail tried to hook up with at the Lynyrd Skynyrd concert last year" said Bim. Crazy Ken had a perplexed look on his face after he choked down his sample and remarked, "Reserve my ass, they should think about keeping this shit in reserve permanently, this is just awful". The flavors were a mix of boozy and malty and while we weren't overwhelmed with admiration it only rated a so-so. Next was an Ommegang Adoration (10.0%), a "special winter ale" brewed with spices such as cardamon, mace, cumin, coriander and grains of paradise. "What the Fuck" said Fred, "Did Colonel Sanders brew this crap?, this is like eating his original recipe chicken" This one sported way too many spices, but is made in the traditional Belgian dark spicy ale tradition of undoubtedly is "this is sure gonna suck". It wasn't that bad, but then again, none of us wanted a second glass of it, so we gave it a mere so-so. Hoping to turn up a decent beer on this suddenly craptastic flavored night, we opened a Victory V-12 (12%). The mathematician of the group, Bim declared, "This beer must be around 12% alcohol I would guess". "No shit Einstein" said Wilder as we poured a round of what turned out to be a overall decent tasting beer. Snake thought he tasted either pear or apple on the back end while Prince Mike said "sure as hell is better than the last one we had". A solid good, it was very unique and deserves to be tried again. The girls then came in from the backyard cackling with laughter and telling us they had a surprise waiting outside. We rushed out to see what all the fuss was about, and we about pissed our pants at the "milk man" that was lewdly taking aim at a shapely young lass. Hoping that the morning sun would "melt away" the evidence, we went back in for our final beer of the night, Abbaye de Saint Bon Chien 2006 (11.0%). A Swiss beer (who knew?), it poured from the bomber sized bottle like a gigantic meteor shower, full of pockets of spent yeast like a pair of sex crazed hobos. The taste was slightly sour, which was a perfect complement to the smooth heat generated by the double digit alcohol content. The beer is aged in burgundy wine casks and the tart grape flavor comes through without making you think your gulping down a bottle of Dimetapp. A solid good, it was easily the best beer of the night. We adjourned for the evening, images of the naughty snowman out back still dancing in our heads, hoping we would each be so lucky later that night.......